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WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

0 posted 2003-09-19 01:18 AM

This one is somewhat different from my usual, I think.

Don't take me from this place
though I do nothing but weep here
it was so cold in the world today
everyone so consumed in themselves

All I wanted was some comfort
what I received was so many cold-shoulders
this hurt is seeping deeper into my bones
it's all I can feel now, it's taking control.

I wish these tears could drain me into oblivion
Im so empty already
Im forgetting so many things
this shadow is covering my memory
and I've forgotten that I used to be happier.

I wish I could scream so loud
that everyone could hear me
and feel some small bit of my pain
but it just keeps welling up inside.

Im letting go of the one who knew me
without saying goodbye
I just can't believe Im doing this
my head knows the logical reason why
but my heart doesn't understand.

Im weeping endlessly,
let me float away on the river of my tears
I've never felt so alone before,
let me float away on the river of my tears
and leave this cold world behind me.

and no, that last line isn't about suicide.

thanks for reading.

WinterWren
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

[This message has been edited by WinterWren (09-19-2003 01:19 AM).]

Nia
New Member

since 2003-09-18

Posts 4
Canada

1 posted 2003-09-19 07:15 AM

Hey I like it! Lol I don't think I would have thought the last line was about suicide even if you hadn't said anythin. It has a powerful ending which is really good and a strong opening. Good work!!

Inioth
Junior Member

since 2003-09-18

Posts 12
Calgary, Alberta

2 posted 2003-09-19 10:08 AM

This was another great poem....you and nia are quite good at this....I think I have to work on mine a lot more.....it was so descriptive....I don't know what else to say but great job....keep writing I'd like to read more of your stuff

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

3 posted 2003-09-19 02:07 PM

Thanks for the comments. They mean alot to me!
Nia: Glad you liked it, and understood the last line.
Inioth: Thank you so very much! lol, I think yours are just fine. If you want, you can do a "smart search" and look up my older poems.

WinterWren
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

4 posted 2003-09-19 09:12 PM

wow, that was a really great one.truly good. i loved the pictures stuck in my head from it.great, great job

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

5 posted 2003-09-19 09:42 PM

Like usual, great work! Lots of emotions were expressed...I like one a lot! ~Jess

"Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go." -Herman Hesse

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