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Passions in Poetry

Thoughts (Plz Read)

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Inioth
Junior Member
since 09-18-2003
Posts 12
Calgary, Alberta


0 posted 09-18-2003 12:36 PM       View Profile for Inioth   Email Inioth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Inioth

Hey everyone I've been writing for a bit but have never posted anything, here are a couple of my poems let me know what ya think:

Thought 5(Walls)

Why do they always want me to open
I like being closed
They say there's a wall there
Why should I break it down??
Give me a reason
What would you do if it wasn't there??
Hurt me like the rest??
Give me a reason....
A reason is all I ask
I think my wall needs to be higher....I can still see you

Thought 10 (Desire) (working on the title)

Why do you do it?
Show off your body the way you do?
Like a piece of meat off to be auctioned...
Leaving nothing to be desired
You're used goods, no one will take you
Except someone you don't want
He'll show you off like a prize
And you'll recoil, but it's what you wanted wasn't it?
That is why you do it, you know it's true you'll just never admit
just another one of the cattle, hope all goes well
you'll never see me in the stands...

Thanks for reading Opinions are welcome

[This message has been edited by Inioth (09-18-2003 12:55 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Inioth - All Rights Reserved
magic_612
Member
since 07-31-2003
Posts 197
NB, Canada


1 posted 09-18-2003 12:59 PM       View Profile for magic_612   Email magic_612   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for magic_612

hey I liked the second one the best. The title is also pretty good, it really made me want to read the poem. I hope to hear more from you and thanks for sharing
Inioth
Junior Member
since 09-18-2003
Posts 12
Calgary, Alberta


2 posted 09-18-2003 01:00 PM       View Profile for Inioth   Email Inioth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Inioth

There are 2 more of my poems in the critique forum
Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Elite
since 11-09-1999
Posts 2307
In an upside-down garden


3 posted 09-18-2003 02:38 PM       View Profile for Allysa   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Allysa

I actually liked the second one better.  It reminded me of last night.  I was at a concert and some girl was all over this thirty year old security guard and she was like fifteen years old.  I thought that was slightly sad and that people need to have more dignity.  Anyway.. later.
Inioth
Junior Member
since 09-18-2003
Posts 12
Calgary, Alberta


4 posted 09-18-2003 03:05 PM       View Profile for Inioth   Email Inioth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Inioth

seems like everyone likes the second one....
ahhh I like em all, I have lots more, I'll keep posting as the day goes on....my style seems to always be questioning, life, love, politics, religion....I like it but thanks a lot for reading...bye for now
Nia
New Member
since 09-18-2003
Posts 4
Canada


5 posted 09-18-2003 06:23 PM       View Profile for Nia   Email Nia   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Nia

I actually like the first one better lol, just because I can relate to it. The second ones good but I like the first Good work!!
Inioth
Junior Member
since 09-18-2003
Posts 12
Calgary, Alberta


6 posted 09-19-2003 01:00 AM       View Profile for Inioth   Email Inioth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Inioth

LOL  well like I said I like them Both....I'll post 2 more tomorrow one is very meaningful to me and definately has the bad overtones like these 2, the other is very nice, I wrote it for a friend who just broke up with her boyfriend to cheer her up
I'd post em tonight but I gotta work so Talk to everyone later glad you all liked them =)
WinterWren
Senior Member
since 12-01-2002
Posts 1044
...Coming to


7 posted 09-19-2003 01:06 AM       View Profile for WinterWren   Email WinterWren   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WinterWren's Home Page   View IP for WinterWren

I like them both. Though I have to say I like the first one better.
I think it's like Nia said, I can relate to it.
Excellent work,
Thanks for sharing.

WinterWren
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

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