How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Archives
 Teen Poetry #6 Archive
 Stormy
 1 2 3
Follow us on Facebook

 This is an Archive. You may post a reply, but new topics are not allowed.

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

Stormy

 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
*Dark Princess*
Junior Member
since 04-13-2003
Posts 22
lost in the shadows


0 posted 09-16-2003 12:25 AM       View Profile for *Dark Princess*   Email *Dark Princess*   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for *Dark Princess*


Tears fall,
Like rain on a garden wall.
Thundering clouds are me,
Upsetting this perfect day.
Clashing with other clouds,
Words striking like lightning.
Hitting hard,
Leaving devastation for you and I.
The sun peaks out,
All is calm.
But this perfect day is ruined,
By this lonely storm.

Okay I wrote this a few years ago, and tried to revise it some, but if anyone has any ideas, I would appreciate it...
© Copyright 2003 Jessica Claire Spear - All Rights Reserved
Match
Member
since 07-01-2002
Posts 287
Canada Edmonton


1 posted 09-16-2003 08:54 PM       View Profile for Match   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Match

I like it....thats all

I wear my crown of thorns
on my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Laureate
since 06-07-2000
Posts 14805
Twilight Zone


2 posted 09-20-2003 12:33 PM       View Profile for Acies   Email Acies   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Acies

I don't know how much revision you've done, but it sounds really good
my suggestion is to add to it, make it longer
it might add to the greatness of the poem
thanks for the read

You don't have to say you love me just be close at hand.......

Why
Junior Member
since 09-26-2003
Posts 32
Middle of nowhere


3 posted 09-27-2003 12:02 PM       View Profile for Why   Email Why   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Why

i have no words to describe that poem besides EXCELLENT!!!! it would be better if it were longer
*Dark Princess* will be notified of replies
 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Archives >> Teen Poetry #6 >> Stormy Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors