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Teen Poetry #6
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collarbone_girl
Junior Member
since 2003-07-14
Posts 45
Wonderland

0 posted 2003-09-14 10:45 AM



last night was the hardest night of my life

hearing you talk about her

and looking at me

without a tear

or regret

while i've cried a thousand

for each of the 704 days

we were an us

and i keep expecting a phone call

(just like the last four times we've split)

and you to tell me how much you've missed me

for you to tell me

you need me to blow the dust off your scars

and to take the edge of your naievety

with my realness

but i know it's gonna happen like that this time...


and to quote from your shallow  self

the moon is casting shadows on my completion face
cause youandi are complete....

...ly over.


Each letter written wastes your hand young man, come lead me to your bed...

[This message has been edited by collarbone_girl (09-14-2003 12:33 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Bee - All Rights Reserved
Riley
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038
in the pouring rain
1 posted 2003-09-14 01:58 PM


this was simply amazing...reminded me of something a friend of mine is going thru...just amazing reality here...i loved it


riley leanne

* the pouring rain kisses my lips with innocence as you look into my eyes *

anya
Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 393
London, UK
2 posted 2003-09-14 03:49 PM


raw stuff here...i like to poems that are powerful and to the point, well done
anya

sixington
Member
since 2003-07-14
Posts 53
Utah
3 posted 2003-09-29 08:26 PM


i really liked this:
you need me to blow the dust off your scars

and to take the edge of your naievety

you filled me with such angst in so few words. This is powerful.

shara
Member
since 2002-05-21
Posts 69
florida/USA
4 posted 2003-09-29 10:32 PM


hi...i really liked this poem, i especially liked the way you ended, not only was it a powerful poem, but it was to the point, i think that only made it more powerful.

>>>love is a friendship set on fire
                        ~Jeremy Taylor  

BrokenDreams
Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425
In The Clouds
5 posted 2003-09-30 10:18 AM


This was really really good, especially the end.I'm sorry for your loss and I hope things get better for you.

"To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart." -Donald Laird

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