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Teen Poetry #6

Autumn Haiku

SimpleDiscourse
Member

since 2003-04-24

Posts 79

0 posted 2003-09-10 10:01 PM

Summer's bitter end:
Wait for the dying season
To be born again.

chasing rain
Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 737
Canada

1 posted 2003-09-10 11:18 PM

SimpleDiscourse-

Haikus are always very short, but profound. You wrote this one very well.

I enjoyed the common-ness of the first two lines with the use of "bitter" and "dying", but I thought the last line was most effective and unpredicted. Surprise endings to something so short often tell the longest stories.

I hope you will continue writing more haikus, since you write them with such clarity and beauty. Do experiment with other poetry forms, such as senryus and tankas.

I look forward to reading more!

-Leah

sixington
Member

since 2003-07-14

Posts 53
Utah

2 posted 2003-09-29 08:22 PM

most people can't fit haikus and make them flow. myself included. that was beautiful.

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