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Teen Poetry #6
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SimpleDiscourse
Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 79


0 posted 2003-09-10 10:01 PM



Summer's bitter end:
Wait for the dying season
To be born again.

© Copyright 2003 Erin Reynolds - All Rights Reserved
chasing rain
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada
1 posted 2003-09-10 11:18 PM


SimpleDiscourse-

Haikus are always very short, but profound. You wrote this one very well. I enjoyed the common-ness of the first two lines with the use of "bitter" and "dying", but I thought the last line was most effective and unpredicted. Surprise endings to something so short often tell the longest stories.

I hope you will continue writing more haikus, since you write them with such clarity and beauty. Do experiment with other poetry forms, such as senryus and tankas. I look forward to reading more!

-Leah
sixington
Member
since 2003-07-14
Posts 53
Utah
2 posted 2003-09-29 08:22 PM


most people can't fit haikus and make them flow. myself included. that was beautiful.
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