navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #6 » Reflection
Teen Poetry #6
Post A Reply Post New Topic Reflection Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

0 posted 2003-09-01 07:05 PM




I saw this man
At a diner today.
When I looked closer,
I was so shocked.
I saw your reflection in him.
He was like an older you.
It was uncanny.
It made me think of the past.
Our past.
What happened between us.
The funny beginning,
The beautiful  relationship,
And the tragic end.
It made this giant sadness
Fill up inside me.
I wanted to cry right there..
The emotions were so overwhelming.
Like a tital wave of them came
Out of nowhere.
Just flooding me on the inside.
Making me feel weak.
All of this came upon me,
When I saw a man in a diner,
Who just happened to look like you...

I hate everything about you!
Why do I love you?
You hate everything about me!
Why do you love me?~3 Days Grace

© Copyright 2003 Staci Weidner - All Rights Reserved
peachesNcream
Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears
1 posted 2003-09-01 07:08 PM


This was nice! It flowed perfectly and the emotions were easily expressed. Good work! ~Jess

"At the touch of love, everything becomes a poem." -Plato

SilentTears
Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 371
Lost and Broken
2 posted 2003-09-07 06:39 PM


Ooo, I really liked this. Especially the way you began and ended it with just about the same sentence. Nice job. Loves.

"I would sleep forever, if it meant I'd never stop dreaming..."

Riley
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038
in the pouring rain
3 posted 2003-09-07 07:13 PM


i really liked this, though i think the format could have used a little work. maybe longer lines because i shortness of the lines drew away from it...but other wise a haunting piece

ri

* the pouring rain kisses my lips with innocence as you look into my eyes *

infinite disaster
Member
since 2003-06-01
Posts 69
Illinois
4 posted 2003-09-08 12:38 PM


i really liked this one, how the first line was the same as the last ... good job and keep writing!

much love, akie

I am proof that the heart is a risky fuel to burn.

dizzyblondeme
Junior Member
since 2003-08-27
Posts 11
NE, England
5 posted 2003-09-10 04:39 PM


Lovely.
I really like this, but come to think of it I've liked most of your poetry I've read.  I think you're really talented   You should be very proud.

XxXx J xXxX

Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...
6 posted 2003-09-10 08:20 PM


Thanks everyone...I'm glad you all liked this. Your replies are appreciated.

I hate everything about you!
Why do I love you?
You hate everything about me!
Why do you love me?~3 Days Grace

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #6 » Reflection

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary