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Passions in Poetry

Sunset Twice

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*Belabebeautiful*
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Senior Member
since 01-03-2003
Posts 707
washington, USA


0 posted 08-29-2003 03:20 AM       View Profile for *Belabebeautiful*   Email *Belabebeautiful*   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for *Belabebeautiful*

I have been ill at ease as of late, as my poetry has portrayed but I couldn't sleep last night so I found myself up at four in the morning watching this.

Through the night I pondered,
But now I see the day.
The rays of golden sunlight
Chase the dark away.

And now from the horizon,
A golden hue is formed.
And as I gaze at this wond’rous sight,
My innermost soul is warmed.

The purple clouds are beautiful,
The long strands of silk,
Hang from invisible threads in the sky,
And when my soul does gaze at it,
I feel I am up high.

For the heavens have sent me their blessings,
And I am forever grateful.
My task now is to stop
All that made me hateful.

The problem with resisting temptation is you never know if you'll get the chance again
~Bella~

© Copyright 2003 Bella - All Rights Reserved
dizzyblondeme
Junior Member
since 08-27-2003
Posts 12
NE, England


1 posted 08-29-2003 12:14 PM       View Profile for dizzyblondeme   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for dizzyblondeme

This has really cheered me up.  I've been a little down and sad today (had a bad morning) but your poem has brought a smile to my face.  Its very inspiring, the type of thing that you need to read to make you feel grateful and regain faith in yourself.  Thanx and I think you have made a really good job of this - Well done!

XxXx J xXxX

Kaydo
Junior Member
since 06-02-2003
Posts 17
Washington, USA


2 posted 09-05-2003 12:25 AM       View Profile for Kaydo   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for Kaydo

I'm a little late in posting but I've been a busy person with the starting of school and all...  OMG, this poem...  Breath taking?  I really think that this is one of your most beautiful poems (specailly for being written at 4 in the morning).  Definatly something I'll be able to read when I'm down, and know that it will bring a smile to my face.  Truely wonderlul write hun!  Don't ever stop, ok?  love ya lots!!!!!!  
                Travis

Work like you don't need the moeny, dance like no one is watching, Sing like your all alone, and love like you've never been hurt.

WinterWren
Senior Member
since 12-01-2002
Posts 1044
...Coming to


3 posted 09-05-2003 01:04 AM       View Profile for WinterWren   Email WinterWren   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WinterWren's Home Page   View IP for WinterWren

I really like this one! Im not usually up for the sunrises, but I always try to catch it setting. *sigh*. Wonderful,soothing poem, you painted the picture perfectly.

WinterWren
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

chasing rain
Senior Member
since 05-15-2001
Posts 1281
Canada


4 posted 09-06-2003 08:43 PM       View Profile for chasing rain   Email chasing rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for chasing rain

*Belabebeautiful*-

Beautifully written. It's really nice to see you still around here; I'm sure you're improving with every post.

The flow was excellent for the first 1˝ stanzas, but be careful. Often, when you're writing a rhythmically driven poem, the flow has to be exact. It wobbled a bit around the last line of the second stanza, and completely changed by the third. Try not to change the meter in the middle of a poem because the thought-process of the reader becomes muddled and confused, leaving him/her grasping for some kind of consistancy.

The ending was a bit weak, so maybe you can find something else that rhymes with "grateful"?

Keep up the good work!

-Leah
Maddy vanD
Member
since 09-06-2003
Posts 101
Newfoundland, Canada


5 posted 09-09-2003 08:57 AM       View Profile for Maddy vanD   Email Maddy vanD   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Maddy vanD

I'm an insomniac so I see many sunrises (though up here on the Rock most of them are heavily filtered through fog or heavy overcast) and this poem awakened so many memories of beautiful sunrises....it really is amazing how much the dawn can affect one isn't it.
I have to agree with Leah about the rythem thing, but I really liked the poem....WRITE ON!!

Maddy
Poetry is not pretty....poetry is real

Song_for_Serenity
Member
since 05-28-2003
Posts 97
USA


6 posted 09-17-2003 12:47 AM       View Profile for Song_for_Serenity   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Song_for_Serenity

Great poem, but for some reason the 3rd stanza was a lil' rocky. That could just be me. Anyhoo, have a spiffy day!

~Angela
"Anything less than mad, passionate love is wasting your time...Life has too many mediocre things in it, love shouldn't be one of them..."

Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 10-28-2000
Posts 1147
Standing In Silence...


7 posted 09-17-2003 05:05 PM       View Profile for Spine Grinder   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Spine Grinder

I liked this. There are plenty of people out there that suffer from loss of sleep, including me, and this describes what so many people see each morning. Good write.

"I'm tired of being what you want me to be."~Linkin Park

[This message has been edited by Spine Grinder (09-17-2003 05:07 PM).]

 
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