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Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

0 posted 2003-08-24 11:36 PM

The wind whistles in my ears,
weighing on top of everything.
I scream into the sound,
perhaps a plea,
a begging on my hands and knees.

I don't care if this is wrong,
to open up and show you my blood,
swirling in colors other then red.

Just step back and think.

I'm sorry that I've become nothing to you.
Nothing but a girl.
I see myself there, back there between the trees.
Towering black statues.
that you built around me.
A bruise you left, with the pressure of your breath.

I'm not sure why I cry,
Emotional nausea.
I vomit out my fears at your feet.
But you just look with laughing eyes.

So I fold it all away.
The fabric is a faded pink
thin and fragile.

I'm at my knees again
unable to rise up.
Muddied skin.
So dirty it's hard to know if I'm human.

I've come to know its here.
There are no endings.
Just scraps of metal pretending to be mirrors.
I don't know where I'm comming from...
Because I've always been here.

[This message has been edited by Lexy (08-26-2003 02:14 PM).]

yankees01rugby
Junior Member

since 2003-08-13

Posts 48
USA

1 posted 2003-08-25 10:30 AM

this is a really good poem. i will be looking for more of your work.

*It's hard to tell your mind to stop lovin someone when your heart still does*

eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

2 posted 2003-08-25 02:48 PM

made me step back and think, great write lexy

"There never was a genius without a tincture of madness."

magic_612
Member

since 2003-07-31

Posts 190
NB, Canada

3 posted 2003-08-25 08:02 PM

I really liked this one, especially the line "A bruise you left, with the pressure of your breath." great job

SenSitiveSaLLy
New Member

since 2003-08-24

Posts 5
in an alternate universe

4 posted 2003-08-25 10:01 PM

i found that i related most with these lines.."I'm sorry that I've become nothing to you. Nothing but a girl."... i love it!!

wish there was something i could say or do, i can resist anything but temptation from you.. but i'd rather fall myself than let you drag me down.

Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A

5 posted 2003-08-26 03:43 PM

wow... I know I haven't read a lot of your work, but maybe now I know what I've been missing. this poem truly impressed me. The the visualizations you built around your character, upon her, and within her were incredible. This was a joy heartbreaking joy to read. excellent job. you missed nothing.

Jeremy

Be it in the truest form, or a desperate lack thereof, fail not to understand that the inspiration is love.

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

6 posted 2003-08-26 09:13 PM

Like Jeremy, I read your work a lot and at times tend not to reply...for some unknown reason. Out of them all, I think this piece is your best yet. I love all everything about this poem, great work! I can't wait to read more! ~Jess

"At the touch of love, everything becomes a poem." -Plato

collarbone_girl
Junior Member

since 2003-07-14

Posts 45
Wonderland

7 posted 2003-08-28 02:06 PM

miiiiiinted! this was awesome lexy! you've totally found your voice in my abscence! yay for you!

This Cool Night Air Is Curious...

Toasty
Member

since 2003-06-09

Posts 74
my little hole in wisconsin

8 posted 2003-08-28 05:22 PM

Whoa... this almost made me cry. This is definitely going into my personal library. :0) keep up the excellent work.

~toasty

"Nothing is so strong as gentleness; Nothing so gentle as real strength." -Francis de Sales.

Jaime

Registered

Member
Posts 250

9 posted 2003-08-31 12:24 PM

There were so many parts of it that were amazing, which of course contributed to the whole, but this was my favourite part:

"I've come to know its here.
There are no endings.
Just scraps of metal pretending to be mirrors.
I don't know where I'm comming from...
Because I've always been here."

Really good way to end it...

jupiter.

the faeries creep into my hair at night leaving it in terrible knots

Kandi
Member

since 2000-06-14

Posts 354
North of Hell

10 posted 2003-09-02 02:18 AM

Wow...

I'm REALLY impressed by this. Don't quite know if I can do it justice with a comment...
Loved it.
Beautifully written.
~Kay

Just wanna be funny,looks like the joke's on me.
So call me Captain Backfire.

Manth88
Junior Member

since 2003-06-15

Posts 45
IL, USA

11 posted 2003-09-04 07:14 PM

Hey Lexy, i luv the poem. Great write, keep it up.

!^*Manth88*^!

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

12 posted 2003-09-04 11:42 PM

I have always loved your work and this is..as everyone else put it, amazing.
Perfect. There wasn't a single word out of place.
I would have to say my favorite line is, "Perhaps a plea, a begging on my hands and knees."
I love this one, and it's going in my library.

WinterWren
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

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