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Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

0 posted 2003-08-19 10:56 PM

She walks down a lonely street,
Tears dripping to her feet,
Her life is incomplete,
She has lost her soul.

  HIS NAME!
    Still echoes in her head.
      Still torments her dreams.

He had walked away without a word,
Her cries would not be heard,
Her vision became blurred,
As she lost control.

  HIS NAME!
    Still marked on her soul.
      Still burned into her mind.

She finally breaks down,
Her hands hit the ground,
Scarlet tears stain her gown,
And they may never stop falling.

  HIS NAME!
    Still instigating bad thoughts.
      Still ignoring the pleading.

The sky feels her pain,
As it slowly begins to rain,
All her begging was in vain,
Because he still left her calling.

  HIS NAME!
    Still clouding her every move.
      Still following her wherever she goes….

"It's the way that he makes you feel.
It's the way that he kisses you.
It's the way that he makes you fall in love"~Sugarcult

Pollita
Member

since 2002-07-25

Posts 220
the unknown realm of insanity

1 posted 2003-08-20 01:20 AM

Another great poem...I cant help but realise, you're work reminds me of lyrics that belongs in a sugarcult song or something.
But its all good, keep up the fantasmic work!
hehe, fantasmic....anyways!...*hugs*

* A wise monkey never monkies with another monkey's monkey *

SilentTears
Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 371
Lost and Broken

2 posted 2003-08-20 08:08 PM

Beautiful, Staci, absolutely beautiful. I LOVE the rhyme scheme. And the vocabulary in this one is perfect. Another one of yours that adds to my pile of favorites. Love's.

"I would sleep forever, if it meant I'd never stop dreaming..."

eternalblu
Junior Member

since 2003-08-17

Posts 11
Pennsylvania, US

3 posted 2003-08-21 11:25 AM

That was amazing! This is the first poem of yours that I read, but if this poem says anything about your talent, I wanna read them all! Good...no, GREAT job!

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

4 posted 2003-08-21 06:30 PM

I read this poem at your house but I figured I would reply...

This poem makes me want to go to my room and shut the door for hours. It sent so many emotions up and down my spine, it's a bit unbelievable. Great work! ~Jess

"At the touch of love, everything becomes a poem." -Plato

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

5 posted 2003-08-21 10:54 PM

Thanks everyone, I'm glad you all liked this!

"It's the way that he makes you feel.
It's the way that he kisses you.
It's the way that he makes you fall in love"~Sugarcult

[This message has been edited by Spine Grinder (08-21-2003 10:56 PM).]

*Belabebeautiful*

Senior Member

since 2003-01-03

Posts 696
washington, USA

6 posted 2003-08-22 01:18 AM

hmm...I'm getting a different vibe out of this one than I usually do from your others, I enjoyed it imensly(I don't think I spelled that right...oh well!) I liked the ryhme scheme it flowed well but the fact that every other stanza was only two lines and free verse really made it interesting and didn't lapse into a monotone type of poem. Extremely well done!
~Live and Laugh~

The problem with resisting temptation is you never know if you'll get the chance again
~Bella~

Krystin18
Junior Member

since 2003-01-19

Posts 20
Ontario, Canada

7 posted 2003-08-22 04:13 AM

wow its amazing

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