Untitled - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Teen Poetry #6

Untitled

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

0 posted 2003-08-15 11:46 PM

It rained. We walked. Your hair
was getting wet.
I breathed its scent. We shared
a cigarette.

God, politics or Hermann Hesse, --
I loved your voice.
We were together. I was blessed
and I rejoiced.

I held your hand. How fragile
was your glove!
I was naïve and I imagined
this was love…

Check out my poetry here:

http://www.unknownpoets.com/db/authors/master

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

1 posted 2003-08-16 01:58 PM

Wow, amazingly well done. The honesty of this drew me in. I loved this piece.

[This message has been edited by Lexy (08-16-2003 04:12 PM).]

magic_612
Member

since 2003-07-31

Posts 190
NB, Canada

2 posted 2003-08-16 09:03 PM

hey this was a really good poem.. can't wait to read more

blueyedlioness
Member

since 2003-04-24

Posts 289
USA

3 posted 2003-08-19 05:45 PM

Not that this wasn't good, but I like others of yours better. The rhythm was a bit confusing. Still pretty impressive, though...

-Lioness

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

4 posted 2003-08-19 08:38 PM

I agree with Blueeyedlioness about the rhymthm and I have liked some of your others more than this, but it was still very good.

"Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe"~Maroon 5~

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.