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Teen Poetry #6
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Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California

0 posted 2003-08-12 05:38 PM


Bubble gum lips
soft and supple.
Bruised and blistered lips,
a tyedied disater.
White and empty lips, kissed a little too softly.
Lips tainted with innosence.

That's me
sitting there in a ruby gown.
Lips to match.
Bleeding and slightly parted,
from the recent bite of love.

© Copyright 2003 Alexis Smith - All Rights Reserved
Tequilia_Sunrise
Senior Member
since 2003-02-19
Posts 612
Lochalsh, Ontario, Canada
1 posted 2003-08-12 06:13 PM


Ive read your other work and really enjoyed it, but im sorry hun i dont quite understand this one????  I dont know maybe im just slow.

Tequilia

Kaoru
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Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
2 posted 2003-08-12 06:57 PM


What thoughts,
I enjoyed..

Thank you, Lex.. this is good.

Riley
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Senior Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038
in the pouring rain
3 posted 2003-08-12 07:51 PM


this was an amazing piece of work, just amazing. there is no other word. maybe change the title, it gave away much of the poem taking away from the surprise effect.

Bubble gum lips
soft and supple.


let me think...maybe a person, sheltered, and loved by all.

Bruised and blistered lips,
a tyedied disater.


the exact opposite, a person hated and living in the dark.

White and empty lips, kissed a little too softly.
Lips tainted with innocence.


the lonely one, just alone, there is no other word.

That's me
sitting there in a ruby gown.
Lips to match.[/b[

your lips ruby red, the color of "love"

[b]Bleeding and slightly parted,
from the recent bite of love.


this line explains itself, you fell in love
i tried to break it down to my interpretation (sp) but you may have written it with a different intention than this...
and if you did please explain it to me.


i loved this piece


quote:
Bleeding and slightly parted,
from the recent bite of love.



amazing write here, i loved it!

* the pouring rain kisses my lips with innocence as you look into my eyes *

Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
4 posted 2003-08-13 06:00 PM


wow riley I'm impressed you were able to interpret so closely. Thanks for your time.

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