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Teen Poetry #6
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*Belabebeautiful*
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Senior Member
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696
washington, USA

0 posted 2003-07-22 01:09 AM


Well I was trying to write a friendship poem to Travis but the begining sucked and I was becoming disgusted with it so I set it aside for the moment and wrote another about the man that is always on my mind..I don't really like this one either but what are you going to do right? heh

Although it's better than the rest,
this word can never pass the test;
it fails in all capacity
to describe the things you mean to me.

I need a word that's soft and mellow
but painted bright with sunshine yellow
I need a word to see my pain
a word that's proud, but never vain.

I need a word that says, "I care",
that goes where no one else would dare.
I need a word that's fair and just.
I need a word of sultry lust.

I need a word to hold me tight
to comfort me throughout each night
I need a word of fun and play
to greet me as I start each day.

I need a word to tell me plain
when I'm in error once again.
I need a word that's fearless, bold,
not slow and weak and tired and old.

I need a word of tender touch
a word that needs ME very much.
I need a word that's sparkling new
to describe the love I feel for you.



The problem with resisting temptation is you never know if you'll get the chance again
~Bella~

[This message has been edited by *Belabebeautiful* (07-22-2003 01:10 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 Bella - All Rights Reserved
Silent Evincar
Member
since 2003-07-22
Posts 179
Here There and Places Between
1 posted 2003-07-22 01:14 AM


I LIKE this piece SOOO much that I'm going to give you that word. It's... somewhere, wait I foregot it. Well you know what, its obvious YOU understand it better than me. Good luck. (I want to see more of these pieces that are "not good.")
dertah
Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584

2 posted 2003-07-22 01:15 AM


awww, that was cute.  very good write, nice flow.
*Belabebeautiful*
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696
washington, USA
3 posted 2003-07-22 09:46 AM


what craziness is this that I'm up at six in the morning checking my poem!! oh yeah..work..thanks for the replies guys I'm glad that you liked it, now that I go back and reread it today I'm likeing it a little more as well. But it's off to work with me, thanks again for the comments!
~Live and Laugh~

The problem with resisting temptation is you never know if you'll get the chance again
~Bella~

Toasty
Member
since 2003-06-09
Posts 74
my little hole in wisconsin
4 posted 2003-07-22 10:22 AM


if this isn't " good" I'd love to see what you do consider to be your better stuff!wonderful. simply wonderful.

~toasty

"Nothing is so strong as gentleness; Nothing so gentle as real strength."  -Francis de Sales.

peachesNcream
Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears
5 posted 2003-07-22 04:25 PM


I LOVE how the suspense built up until the end. I was VERY satisfied with it and glad I read it. This was a good poem, don't doubt it! ~Jess

"If I could give you one gift it would be my eyes...So you could see how it feels to be me looking at you." -Unknown

Star T
Member
since 2002-07-12
Posts 182
Philadelphia, US
6 posted 2003-07-23 02:11 PM


hey u just replied to my poem.thanx a lot i'm glad u liked it.but i dint like ur poem though...i LOVED it!its deep and very nice.kind of inspired me to write a poem on love.

keep writing my friend...

Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
7 posted 2003-07-23 02:45 PM


yes. This is very good. I often feel the same way, in fact I was writing my friend the other day, and telling him that they would have to invent a word in order to describe the way I feel about him..this poem really hit home. I loved it.
~Lex..  

[This message has been edited by Lexy (07-23-2003 02:46 PM).]

chicken
Junior Member
since 2003-07-27
Posts 44

8 posted 2003-07-30 07:29 PM


sorry i know this was written ages ago but i have to post a message to get this thread in my library im pretty sure there are other ways but i havent mastered that one quite yet! thanx for a great read anyway at least u know theres still people reading an enjoying your poetry!
-Emma

Song_for_Serenity
Member
since 2003-05-28
Posts 97
USA
9 posted 2003-07-30 10:30 PM


Hey babes! Great poem. Tis perdyful. Poor Travis... you are going to write him one, yes? Damn...ditched for Mr. JL. Heh. Anyhoo, see? I haven't gone anywhere, I just stopped posting poetry. And since I can't seem to get a hold of you elsewhere, I'm just going to invite you this way. AC's 16th is coming up and his mom and I are planning a surprise party for him at his house. It's the 10th at 1. Bring food, it's a potluck (I know that's not the correct spelling, but it gets the point across). Erm, if you need to know anything else, just give me a call. I think his whole family's gonna be there. Oh yeah, and tell Travis. It's even harder to get a hold of that boy. Anyhoo, have a spiffy day!
Sealed with a

~Angela
"Anything less than mad, passionate love is wasting your time...Life has too many mediocre things in it, love shouldn't be one of them..."

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