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Teen Poetry #6
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sixington
Member
since 2003-07-14
Posts 53
Utah

0 posted 2003-07-21 02:29 AM


The Music


So the music had a rough edge
and the music is angry
and the music gets it self high.
It is the paint thinner;
the razorblade;
the music is my wrist.
The music is the "before" picture:
red flowing blood,
fake smile,
white middle class girl.
The music is depressed.
The music is the "after" picture:
The sleepless nights,
The stolen money,
The getting friends,
The music is lost.
The getting high,
with real drugs, real friends.
More fake than me.
The music is the "even after"
Or the "two month later" picture:
The music is the therapist,
the fifty minute hour.
Your childhood, your happiness.
The music is getting better,
calmer.
You're still depressed.
Th music's still there.
So the music has a rough edge.



© Copyright 2003 Amanda - All Rights Reserved
Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
1 posted 2003-07-21 02:10 PM


I loved this. " the music gets itself high." I liked that line among others. great job, this was very expressive and unique.
~Lex..

Silent Evincar
Member
since 2003-07-22
Posts 179
Here There and Places Between
2 posted 2003-07-22 12:36 PM


For some odd reason I kept picturing somebodys mother pointing that obscence finger in a face. Softly scorning you, "One day you'll have to face the MUSIC." I don't know...
AngelShell
Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446
not heaven nor hell so...
3 posted 2003-07-23 06:52 PM


This was really very good.  It was intensely strong and yet there was a vague hesistation that didn't distract in anyway.
There were some lines that were amazing, one being "And the music gets it self high", as Lexy said, amoung others.
Some of the images here were so strong.
I really, really, really liked this a lot.
I'm glad I found it.  I feel like a kid at Christmas, I just found something really exciting...

Well done.

~I haven't memorized all of the cute things to say but I'm working on it~

Song_for_Serenity
Member
since 2003-05-28
Posts 97
USA
4 posted 2003-07-25 01:28 PM


Hey there! This was very interesting, but I wasn't really feeling it the whole way through. There were some really great lines, but I couldn't get a clear picture or feeling. I dunno. That's just my opinion. Nevertheless, it was a great poem. Have a spiffy day!

~Angela
"Anything less than mad, passionate love is wasting your time...Life has too many mediocre things in it, love shouldn't be one of them..."

Rise of Truth
Member
since 2003-07-12
Posts 59
Beneath the Fury Sun
5 posted 2003-07-25 02:01 PM


Ah, memories.
Nicely composed.

"Our child is in your hands
So let's see you smile now
Cause i'm not impressed with your loneliness"
By Zwan

AlostHeart
Member
since 2003-05-01
Posts 78
Wisconsin, U.S.
6 posted 2003-07-25 02:23 PM


good write
I can relate and it brings back really bad memories...
lots of people go through what you have as well.
So don't think your the only one.
There are girls all over who feel yoru pain and would love to support you...
Big Hugs**
   ~Tori Louise~

Be happy, and respectful, dont forget about those ones that will always love you no matter how much you screw up!

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