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Teen Poetry #6
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Lil_JJ
New Member
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2
Colorado

0 posted 2003-07-20 12:10 PM


the sun falls
and it creeps
on tip-toe quietly
while the world sleeps
it taunts and teases
and sets to leave scars
as i pry endlessly
at these relentless bars
there is no end
to this eerie silence
so my heart quietly
gives into the violence
broken feelings
pave the way for sadness
as i strive to find
an end to all this madness
fear overwhelms me
as i lay and anticipate the light
still, the time stands still
and this creature steals my sight
such a quiet and lonely place
to which i submit my fears
such a quiet and lonely place;
the land of tears...


**To this day, this is probably one of my favs. to those of you who have been here forever will rememvber this. To Acies, Erin,Shugarhigh,and dopey..hahaha you thought I was gone. but hey, I'm not. I'd like to be in here more often than I will be able to be, but it's not realistic...I'll do my best though.

*Tell me why you cry*

formerly known as: StarPryncess17 for those of you who have been here forever!!

© Copyright 2003 **Jessica Lynn** - All Rights Reserved
OtherSideOfTheMirror
Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 245

1 posted 2003-07-20 12:13 PM


WOW!!! I really, really like that.  The rhyming is so right for it and nothing in it seems forced at all. So good...

~othersideofthemirror

Riley
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038
in the pouring rain
2 posted 2003-07-20 04:33 PM


this is actually very good. i enjoyed the fact of the title, because it drew me in.this poem was interestingly unique....i loved it..

riley

*the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time*

BabieDoll
Member
since 2003-02-13
Posts 268
BFE
3 posted 2003-07-20 08:18 PM


I really enjoyed this poem. You did an awesome job. Oh, and I just wanted to say that I found this quite ironic: you're name is Jessica Lynn...well, mine is JENNIFER Lynn and you have JJ as you username...well, my sister calls me JJ. I found it quite funny ( I'm easily humored )LOL. I hope to see more of your writing.

~J.Lynn

"In life you must dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening and love like it's never going to hurt..."

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