»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #6
»
Sun-Kissed Lips, Glittering Eyes
| Teen Poetry #6 |
|
Sun-Kissed Lips, Glittering Eyes |
|
|
OtherSideOfTheMirror Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 245
|
I remember the hours without you Almost as much as the ones we shared You remember how I counted the minutes And how you always pretended you cared I remember your sun-kissed lips You remember my glittering eyes We thought the winter'd given up on us As we laid beneath the crystal skies I remember how we chased away the clouds You remember capturing the sun Though we both preferred the rain As we waited for the clouds to run I remember how you kissed my cheek You remember how you held me tight We remember how the days never ended As we wandered through the night I remember how you held my hand You remember how you gave me butterflies We remember how we shared sun-kissed lips And how we gazed with glittering eyes Through the rain and crystal skies... any ideas on that last line? i dono if i should keep it... [This message has been edited by OtherSideOfTheMirror (07-20-2003 06:32 PM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2003 OtherSideOfTheMirror - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
SharaRose Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2501Somewhere out there~ |
Very nice. Loved reading this. Memories became images of sun, and gliitering eyes, and chasing the night through, and sunny days that seemed to not come to an end. Beautiful!!! SharaRose @-->-- Of sound, and speech let all lift the hearer! |
||
|
Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
beautiful! I just loved this. Into my library it goes. so well written. I wish things really happened like this, like in your poem...that would be amazing. ~Lex...  |
||
|
Lexy Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038California |
beautiful! I just loved this. Into my library it goes. so well written. I wish things really happened like this, like in your poem...that would be amazing. ~Lex... sorry I didn't mean to post twice... [This message has been edited by Lexy (07-19-2003 07:11 PM).] |
||
|
SimpleDiscourse Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 79 |
this was really good. the imagery was great and you put everything into such beautiful words. great job. What would you do if I could have you? |
||
|
HopelessRomanticGuy Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495LI, New York |
*sigh* THis is great! It's sad, and that fits my mood right now. Seems like it's a poem about love and loss, and those are always bound for greatness. Lets face it, it may suck in reality, but it makes for great poetry. Great write! always here with you. Now stay and hold my hand and together we'll go somewhere new. ~Rich~ |
||
|
OtherSideOfTheMirror Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 245 |
i find it interesting that people feel things through what i write that i've never felt... it's all in my head for me really, haven't had a guy since fifth grade. a girl can dream tho right? ~othersideofthemirror [This message has been edited by OtherSideOfTheMirror (07-20-2003 12:01 AM).] |
||
|
chicken Junior Member
since 2003-07-27
Posts 44 |
brilliant well written! is it about your boyfriend? |
||
Riley 
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
i think the last line is fine..i though for sure i had replied to this, maybe not  good write riley *the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time* |
||
|
dertah Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584 |
wow, *hatred smiles.* |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
