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Teen Poetry #6
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SimpleDiscourse
Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 79


0 posted 2003-07-17 07:39 PM



I spend my days
watching scripted TV families.
They've got
more problems than me
but they manage to work them out
within the hour.
And there's no hesitation
when it's time for your line.
You'll always know
the right things to say.
Even if you say the wrong thing
it's all part of the plot
and it will all be fine
by the time the credits roll.
Now it's your cue to cry
and there's always
a shoulder to bury your face in.
But don't you dare cry
when it's not time
and don't let more than
two tears at a time fall.
By the time 8:56 rolls around
order has been restored
relationships have been mended
and if anything is left unsolved,
you can be sure the solution
will be written
by the end of the season.

© Copyright 2003 Erin Reynolds - All Rights Reserved
Magia_negra
Member
since 2003-07-16
Posts 77
CA, USA
1 posted 2003-07-17 08:04 PM


Yes, life is a game, the price for our mistakes is high, and you never know what's gonna happen the next minute. I believe that's what makes it interesting though... even when you feel down, walking on the edge.
Good point you made, enjoyed it a lot
* * *  

Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
2 posted 2003-07-18 05:40 PM


VERY good point you made. I love this, a very unqiue perspective.
Good job.
~Lex..

Rise of Truth
Member
since 2003-07-12
Posts 59
Beneath the Fury Sun
3 posted 2003-07-18 05:53 PM


I like when society's illusions are shown as crimes.

"Our child is in your hands
So let's see you smile now
Cause i'm not impressed with your loneliness"
By Zwan

collarbone_girl
Junior Member
since 2003-07-14
Posts 45
Wonderland
4 posted 2003-07-19 08:48 AM


yeah, this was writeen well and had a good point. i liked it alot.!

This Cool Night Air Is Curious...

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
5 posted 2003-07-20 01:31 AM



SimpleDiscourse~
You did a nice job on this piece.
I liked the flow of it and the way
you put it together.  
Much truth in this write.
Well done.
~Vicky

"it is better to be a part of beauty
for one instant and then cease to
exist than to exist forever
and never be a part of beauty"
-- Don Marquis

EleanorMoonbaby
Member
since 2002-09-02
Posts 202
England, UK
6 posted 2003-07-20 06:09 PM


Hmmmm..... If you're that sick of families on TV doing the vomit-inducing "working out their problems" thing, you could always watch British soap operas. Never in your life will you see such a boring, depressing bunch of inbreds, Hollyoaks probably being the worst culprit.
Anyway, the poem. It had a cynical tone to it, which always goes down well in my book. I like the cut of your jib. Well done.
Ellie

I'm not dead, OK? I'm just a little electroencephalographically challenged!

CrAzI_bAbI_cHiKa
Member
since 2003-07-16
Posts 248

7 posted 2003-07-20 06:26 PM


the amount of times ive sat in my room with the WB on...you describe it perfectly, while relating it to real life..great write

~~*~~CraZi~~*~~

Last night, i was looking at the stars, wondering where the hell did my ceiling go?!

dertah
Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584

8 posted 2003-07-21 09:06 PM


ha ha, and society dumps her load on us again.  great read.
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