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Deep_Inside
Member

since 2002-02-14

Posts 377
i can't stop hiding

0 posted 2003-07-14 01:36 AM

If you end up reading all of it could you help me with a title thanks

All of my depression
Has dug its self in
I try to rid my body of it
I don’t know where to begin

The TV is full of it
I want to gouge out my eyes
All the music I here
Hollow desperate cries

I try to turn, run away
It follows close behind
I look for things to drown it out
It venires everything I find

I’ve run away 6 times before
It’s something I can’t help but feed
But I’ve feed it one to many times
And now it’s something I need

when you live you begin to die
when you die memories of you life lives in others
when memories of you begin to fade
you truly begin to die

Rise of Truth
Member

since 2003-07-12

Posts 59
Beneath the Fury Sun

1 posted 2003-07-14 04:38 AM

A title....hmmm.
Those are very personal things. In my opinion an untitled work is an uncomplete one. Would you really like someone else to put the finishing touches on your mind's design?

I am the prophet
Harbinger of what you fear the most
Your enemy of belligerent honesty
Destroyer of your livelihood, built on falsehood

BabieDoll
Member

since 2003-02-13

Posts 268
BFE

2 posted 2003-07-14 10:01 AM

Well, isn't it true that depression is a disease? So, my idea for a title is 'Haunted'. I say this because you are continuously being haunted by this disease that's eating away at you. Also, a title like that doesn't really give away the concept of the poem. It's only a suggestion, but I hope I helped you a little. LOL.

~J.Lynn

"In life you must dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening and love like it's never going to hurt..."

sixington
Member

since 2003-07-14

Posts 53
Utah

3 posted 2003-07-14 01:21 PM

This poem is AMAZING!
I think you're kind of censoring your feelings, and it would add more to a poem if you put in everything, but i can tell this is personal, and i think its amazing how well you figured out depression and put it into words. Wow. About a title, whatever works. I think it should be something personal, but i think some poems were meant to be untitled, so maybe this is one of them.

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

4 posted 2003-07-14 08:14 PM

great ending. I suffer from depression as well so I could relate to it very much. I liked this.
~Lex

BrokenDreams
Member

since 2003-02-09

Posts 425
In The Clouds

5 posted 2003-07-14 11:01 PM

I was depressed for a long time so I know where you're coming from. This was a really touching poem for me because that is exactly how I felt for what feels like forever. As for a title, I can't really help you. I suck at thinking of titles. But I do agree with whoever said "Haunted". It sounds good to me.

-Jen

"One's philosophy is not best expressed in words; it's expressed in the choices on makes." -Eleanor Roosevelt

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