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Teen Poetry #6
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dertah
Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584


0 posted 2003-07-04 08:17 PM



i love those dreams
when you come to me
when you know im scared
so you kiss me

chills roll up my spine
i shiver in your arms
in a daze i fall
seduced by your charm

i wish what it seems
is what it would be
but sometimes this dream
only brings misery

© Copyright 2003 dertah - All Rights Reserved
SumdayUwillAcheLikeIache
Junior Member
since 2003-06-01
Posts 10

1 posted 2003-07-05 04:12 AM


i get doze dreams

Alnilam
Member
since 2003-07-04
Posts 75

2 posted 2003-07-05 07:00 PM


well written! loved it. thanks for the great read.

~*Alnilam*~
The worst tragedy for a poet is to be admired through being misunderstood.
-Jean Cocteau-

Song_for_Serenity
Member
since 2003-05-28
Posts 97
USA
3 posted 2003-07-05 07:03 PM


Hey there! This had a great flow. Wonderful poem. Keep it up!

~Angela
"Anything less than mad, passionate love is wasting your time...Life has too many mediocre things in it, love shouldn't be one of them..."

Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
4 posted 2003-07-06 04:33 PM


yeah! Can totally relate, been having a lot of weird dreams like that recently.

Ladybug
Member
since 2003-06-17
Posts 236
Massachusetts
5 posted 2003-07-06 06:32 PM


Very cool poem

My only suggestion is that you change the last stanza to say "these dreams" instead of "this dream" to be consistent.  Good poem, overall!


Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end...

[This message has been edited by Ladybug (07-06-2003 06:34 PM).]

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