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Teen Poetry #6
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HeroicVillan
Junior Member
since 2002-11-09
Posts 34
Lost.....

0 posted 2003-06-29 02:57 AM


momentary inspiration looking out my window, man im tired though....


fleeting simple shadows
caught forever in the light
strong within the shallows
lit dimly in the night

there couldnt be an end
to the cold and lifeless dark
the tear we wouldnt mend
no light to keep our mark

and so softly in the night
bumps the things we fear
never causing us to fright
only shed a single tear


darn, to short, oh well, let me know what ya think.

© Copyright 2003 James Bicknell - All Rights Reserved
snoduck
Member
since 2002-11-15
Posts 99
Selah, WA
1 posted 2003-06-29 03:41 AM


Not to sound cheesy or anything... but that is an AWESOME poem. I like the feeling it gives me. I really enjoyed the rhyme scheme you used. Very well written, might I add. I'll be looking for more of your writing!! Thanks for posting!

-Erica-

BabieDoll
Member
since 2003-02-13
Posts 268
BFE
2 posted 2003-06-29 10:02 AM


I thought this was really good. And no it wasn't too short. LOL.

~J.Lynn

"In life you must dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening and love like it's never going to hurt..."

Obsolete
Junior Member
since 2003-06-27
Posts 43

3 posted 2003-06-29 10:47 AM


Good read, well done.
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