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Teen Poetry #6

Upside Down

morgansmiles
Junior Member

since 2003-06-11

Posts 25
hicksville

0 posted 2003-06-28 01:32 PM

Upside down
My vision is a blur
Spinning confusion
Is familiar to me

I want to see clearly
I want to stop swimming
In all this nothiness
Im last in line
And the line isn’t moving

The pain in my head
Is never a stranger
It blinds the backs of my eyes
And doesn’t let me see happiness

I want the rain to stop falling
For the world to rise up
In my mind I can feel it
But I cant really see it

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

1 posted 2003-06-28 08:41 PM

Im last in line
And the line isn’t moving

I know this one only too well.... Hope everything works out for you!

It is said the Creator has taken a handful of South Wind and given each newborn Arabian the power of flight without wings

Kandi
Member

since 2000-06-14

Posts 354
North of Hell

2 posted 2003-06-29 05:35 PM

Skyfire already pointed out the two lines that stood out to me...

I thought this was very powerful and creatively done. You can feel it as you read along, and that shows that you put your emotions across very well. Excellent job.

~Kay~

The day you were born, you were born free
That is your privilege.

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