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Teen Poetry #6
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blueyedlioness
Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 289
USA

0 posted 2003-06-25 04:42 PM



So, last night I'm depressed again, and, upset... I sit down to write. And after like, two verses of something that sounds like a rerun of half of the other stuff I've written lately, I was like... I'm boring myself, here. Why do I expect people to want to read this? So I decided to write something... different.


There was a man named David
Tall and thin, he was
One morning he went off to work
Caught the early bus
His other self got up too late
Missed the bus to work
And once he made it to the office
The boss had to be a jerk

His first self got there right on time
The boss gave him a raise
And while he walked back to the bus stop
Thought of his perfect day
Other self got more depressed -
His day was horrible
He didn't go home at the end -
Silence would be intolerable

First David walked in his apartment
Fixed a meal and went to bed
But couldn't sleep as usual
For the nothings in his head
Other David went to eat
At a restaurant in the town
A pretty waitress smiled sweetly
"Why the awful frown?"

David wished with all his heart
Someone would fill his life
Give him purpose for tomorrow
Light the lonesome nights
He asked the waitress out for coffee
Her name was Marie
They talked and laughed and then he asked
"Tomorrow are you free?"
Other David was too shy
Smiled back and said
"Just another awful day...
Could I have the check instead?"

One David lies awake at home
One is captured by her eyes
One hides behind his menu
Decides 'tween chips and fries

Next morning David goes to work
The same routine again
And as he catches the same old bus
Sees only where he's been
Another remembers an awful day
And a never-forgotten evening
The third's so disgusted with life in general
He's not going to work this morning

One year later, David asks
"Marie, will you be mine?"
Marie says yes and friends rejoice:
"It's taken enough time!"
Other David walks to work
Missed the early bus
When he finally gets there late
The boss just has to fuss
Another David moved away
Sits at his new desk
Still not happy, still wants more
For he can't be impressed

This same man on one same day
Found simple choices changed his life
Who knew a late alarm clock
Could bring him to his wife?
And the difference that a brave step made -
Depression or a friendly chat
Could, in a second of a choice
Lead down such different paths

Always remember this one man
And where he is today
Be careful of all the little decisions
For they will choose your way

© Copyright 2003 Laura - All Rights Reserved
skyshine
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Member Elite
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058
Beneath the northern stars
1 posted 2003-06-25 11:25 PM


That's great! All the little decisions I've made had such a big effect on me. I wouldn't change them for the world! Well said, Laura!

P.S. Good to see you around here again.

~Elizabeth

Dreams last for so long, even after you're gone...
~Jewel

SimpleDiscourse
Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 79

2 posted 2003-06-26 12:52 PM


I really like the idea of people having two sides. One side being the real you and the other side being how we wished we were. All the aspects we'd like to change about ourselves. I think you portrayed that well. And it's funny when you stop and think about how every single little choice you make can drastically change your future. This was a good one. Thanks for sharing.
Skyfire
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Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
3 posted 2003-06-28 08:52 PM


*blink blink* okay now I'm going to go think now... you say this is different from what you usually write... maybe so, but I really like this!
*plunks it in her library*

It is said the Creator has taken a handful of South Wind and given each newborn Arabian the power of flight without wings

spritrider87
Member
since 2003-05-31
Posts 294
NH
4 posted 2003-06-29 12:03 PM


well lets see... sounds like what i think about all the time... what i should do intsead of what iv done... always seem to make the wrong choices and want to go back... iv chosen the path of no return... stopped giving people chances... just wander alone and think about..... but i dont do anything.... just seem to hide and run... yeah im done rambeling.

iamintroublebutnooneknowsitifyoucanfigureoutmymessagesthenhelpme.
at the end of the rope taking my last breath

Kandi
Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 354
North of Hell
5 posted 2003-06-29 05:25 PM


I really liked the idea behind this...thought it was creative.
I wish I could just sit down and write something like this! You did an excellent job. It made me think...
~Kay

The day you were born, you were born free
That is your privilege.

WinterWren
Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044
...Coming to
6 posted 2003-06-30 10:21 PM


Woah, very thought provoking piece!
I really enjoyed this one, and the message.
Excellent job!

WinterWren
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

OtherSideOfTheMirror
Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 245

7 posted 2003-07-01 10:59 PM


you know i love your writing. This gave me a good outlook since im having a crazy bad day!

thanks!
~cassi

dertah
Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584

8 posted 2003-07-05 06:17 PM


wow.  i am left utterly with no words to say but these.
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