From Within - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

0 posted 2003-07-20 02:50 PM

I hear a silent whisper over the lake,
Inviting my soul to return,
Disembark to the life I once lived,
Drained from each layer of pain,
Thickening each time I blink,
Unclaimed and alone, you see,
Unable to paint a smile across my face,
Scarlet tears form within my heart,
Disjoining a lethal scar,
Drawing death upon my faith.

"If I could give you one gift it would be my eyes...So you could see how it feels to be me looking at you." -Unknown

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

1 posted 2003-07-20 07:18 PM

Good job Jess. I liked the words you used in this one.

If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain.

BabieDoll
Member

since 2003-02-13

Posts 268
BFE

2 posted 2003-07-21 09:45 AM

This was good, Jess. Your writing style has DEFINATELY changed! LOL. Keep it up girl!

Love ya!

~J.Lynn

"In life you must dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening and love like it's never going to hurt..."

*Belabebeautiful*

Senior Member

since 2003-01-03

Posts 696
washington, USA

3 posted 2003-07-21 09:20 PM

The first line captured me and didn't let go untill the end. I loved this piece..the imagery, the word choice, the meaning...sigh..It was all wonderful and hauntingly beautiful
~Live and Laugh~

The problem with resisting temptation is you never know if you'll get the chance again
~Bella~

Silent Evincar
Member

since 2003-07-22

Posts 179
Here There and Places Between

4 posted 2003-07-22 02:16 AM

More peachesNcream, and very expresive. I can't help but picture a swamp and something waiting to envelop you. Dark yet tempting and maybe, just maybe... peaceful.

AngelShell
Member

since 2000-03-01

Posts 446
not heaven nor hell so...

5 posted 2003-07-22 02:39 AM

Wow! This was amazing, definately one very, very, very good write.
I loved the subjectiveness that leaves it totally open to impartial interpretation...the imagery was great although it was more of a concieved image as opposed to a percieved one.

Well done!

~I haven't memorized all of the cute things to say but I'm working on it~

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

6 posted 2003-07-22 11:47 AM

WHOA! Thanks for all the comments, I honestly appreciate it! I didn't think I'd get that many replies to this one but I'm glad I did! *Pats self on the back* LOL ~Jess

"If I could give you one gift it would be my eyes...So you could see how it feels to be me looking at you." -Unknown

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.