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Teen Poetry #6
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IndigoEve
Member
since 2003-01-10
Posts 279
Etched in the illusion of time

0 posted 2003-06-17 02:44 PM


This is my first try at palindrome poetry (aka Mirrored poetry). Tell me what you think.


break soundlessly
stars painted through jaded sighs
moon wandering forever
songs precious to me, bound
gracefully fated lovers
here found divinity stirring
kisses cherished delicately
unspoken attraction
- Sonata -
attraction unspoken
delicately cherished kisses
stirring divinity found here
lovers fated gracefully
bound me to precious songs
forever wandering moon
sighs jaded through painted stars
soundlessly break

[This message has been edited by IndigoEve (06-17-2003 02:46 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Imbued - All Rights Reserved
idleeyes86
Member
since 2003-06-09
Posts 64
Somewhere over the rainbow
1 posted 2003-06-17 03:33 PM


I must say I was very impressed with this. It's not a structure I'm particularly familiar with, and it looks extremely hard. It seems to me that it would be easy to concentrate merely on getting your words to work in a gramatical sense, when reflected, rather than making it sound beautiful, and have meaning. You've avoided this, both halves are meaningful and beautiful.
I had Beethoven ringing in my ears as I read, was it based on his piece or did you just like the title?

Skyfire
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Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
2 posted 2003-06-17 04:06 PM


Woah.... that looks incredibly hard... makes me almost wanna try it... Huh.... I'm very very impressed.  I'd love to see another one if you ever feel up to it
BabieDoll
Member
since 2003-02-13
Posts 268
BFE
3 posted 2003-06-17 04:14 PM


Beautifully written...I could NEVER do something like that! LOL. I thought it was a great poem! Thanks for sharing!

~J.Lynn

"In life you must dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening and love like it's never going to hurt..."

IndigoEve
Member
since 2003-01-10
Posts 279
Etched in the illusion of time
4 posted 2003-06-18 09:51 AM


Thanks everyone! No, I didn't base it off of Beethoven, I just happened to like the way it sounded. And sure, I'd be glad to write another and post it...I'm always up for the challenge!
WindSong
Member
since 2002-12-23
Posts 313
Long Island, New York
5 posted 2003-06-18 04:14 PM


*Heels the stop sign* Thank God that was there otherwise my "WOWness" would go on forever and that would just be a waste of valuable space. I have no choice but to carefully and quietly to add this incredible piece of art to my library. For me to pick out one line, would be too hard...So I shall pick the whole thing to say that it was a favorite. I don't think I've ever read any of your work, but I know I will start now. *Thumbs up* Peace. Love. Happiness. ~*~Kirah~*~

"Life is not measured by the moments we take,but by the moments that take our breaths away." -Author Unkown.

frolicking dolphin
Member
since 2003-02-23
Posts 268
my own special world
6 posted 2003-06-18 05:35 PM


I wish I could write reflected, and while i've never tried, I already know how frustrated I would get, that was a great poem, can't wait til the next one

~*~Karen~*~

~Dream like you'll live forever,live like you'll die tomorrow~

chasing rain
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada
7 posted 2003-06-20 07:01 PM


IndigoEve-

I thought this was written very well for a first try at this format. It's difficult to make sense of everything forwards AND backwards. The only critique I have for you is practice. You want to make this as smooth as possible so that the reader does not notice the fowards-backwards lines. I think the reader might enjoy it more if you did not tell them what format you were using. We like to feel smart in noticing formats.

Considering that I'm learning the entire Moonlight Sonata (Op.27 No.2) for piano, it's interesting to see what people write for it. While I was reading this, I could hear the Moonlight Sonata playing in the background. Very cool.

Keep up the good work!

-Leah
blueyedlioness
Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 289
USA
8 posted 2003-06-20 09:49 PM


Just ignore this. I forgot to add you to my library... and ended up doing it backwards.

[This message has been edited by blueyedlioness (06-20-2003 09:53 PM).]

blueyedlioness
Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 289
USA
9 posted 2003-06-20 09:50 PM


Woah.

*rushes off to try it*

Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...
10 posted 2003-06-24 05:42 PM


Wow, for your first time at doing this, it was great. Very descriptive. Awesome.

If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain.

*Belabebeautiful*
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Senior Member
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696
washington, USA
11 posted 2003-06-25 12:49 PM


Ummm..speachless!!!

.:Bows to the master:.
~live and Laugh~

Don't look to me for perfection, for I will surely let you down.
~Bella~

eor
Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959
blues & greys
12 posted 2003-07-01 01:32 PM


i liked this, but it seamed a little forced, but good style...
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