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Teen Poetry #6

A Wilted Rose

SarBear
Member

since 2003-06-05

Posts 205
Massachusetts

0 posted 2003-06-05 02:31 PM

The Pain Just wont subside
Thoughts of suicide are constantly on my wondering mind
I’m along for this bumpy ride
The last petal has fallen off the red rose
leaving the stem barren
Its thorns stabbing into my throbbing heart
I’m off to a rough start
the days go by like years
sleeping is my only vacation
I shower myself in darkness
cannot find the light
My world revolves around black and white
Rainbows are unheard of in my lonesome world
You go count your lucky stars well I sit here wishing for some

spritrider87
Member

since 2003-05-31

Posts 294
NH

1 posted 2003-06-05 05:01 PM

ok i know the exact feelings. i think we should talk. it might help both of us. e-mail me please. spritrider87@yahoo.com

i am in trouble but no one knows it if you can figure out my messages thenhelp me.

laurie
Member

since 2003-05-28

Posts 153
canada, ontario

2 posted 2003-06-05 05:13 PM

l like this... imagery.
only hting l would change is this

Thoughts of suicide constantly...
and "rainbows unheard of in my..' anyway, good work. l like, it's got style.
laurie.
btw, it's just my humble opinion, l know absolutley nothin bout poetry!

a deer in lifes headlites
Junior Member

since 2003-06-04

Posts 23

3 posted 2003-06-05 08:47 PM

I like it but, don't think that all of us are happy little people all the time now.

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