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Teen Poetry #6
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spritrider87
Member
since 2003-05-31
Posts 294
NH

0 posted 2003-06-03 02:52 PM



Gone Is My World

As I slip further into my world
I realize that I like it more
Reality is a drag
I just want to dream
No more hurt
Just happiness
This world I’m in is great
You always see a smile
Everything is perfect
Everyone loves me
I am popular
My best friend is still alive
I think I’ll stay here
Forget reality
No more hurt for me
Good-bye world
I’m gonna live in Gone

i am in trouble but no one knows it if you can figure out my messages thenhelp me.

© Copyright 2003 Jian Sterry - All Rights Reserved
spritrider87
Member
since 2003-05-31
Posts 294
NH
1 posted 2003-06-03 02:54 PM


not as good as my others but youll get the drift

i am in trouble but no one knows it if you can figure out my messages thenhelp me.

laurie
Member
since 2003-05-28
Posts 153
canada, ontario
2 posted 2003-06-03 04:34 PM


you can't live in gone, sweeety, because if you do that, we're not going to be able to help.... gone is a world of one. we need you to continue talking to us, ok? its a good poem though... kinda quick... l can feel the pain...
luv ya, laurie.

Marge Tindal
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
3 posted 2003-06-03 08:01 PM


SpiritRider~
Welcome to Passions.
I'll keep an eye out for your pieces.

Enjoy the many rooms of poetry here~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Fading Away
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Member Elite
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia
4 posted 2003-06-03 09:05 PM


Dreaming can, indeed, be an awesome escape! This is a wonderful piece, and proves to be quite true.

Thanks for sharing this piece!  Looking forward to more...

--Marie

"You can be idealistic for all of ten seconds before you die." (Imitation of Life)

spritrider87
Member
since 2003-05-31
Posts 294
NH
5 posted 2003-06-04 06:38 AM


hope to read all you stuff. ill keep my eyes open for you guys. thanks.  later days

i am in trouble but no one knows it if you can figure out my messages thenhelp me.

peachesNcream
Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears
6 posted 2003-06-05 11:29 AM


The last line was awesome! I absolutely LOVED it!! Dreaming is a good escape from reality...but remember it's not real and later on you'll find yourself feeling worse than before. At least in my eyes...Hopefully better days will come your way!

Good work! ~Jess

"If a thing is worth doing at all, it is worth doing badly." -Gustav Holst

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