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Teen Poetry #6
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Gone
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Gone |
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brezee Member
since 2003-06-02
Posts 140 |
GONE Today I woke up Covered in smoke It was getting to me, It was making me choke; As I walked outside And looked up at the sky, People were screaming As they passed me by. I really didn't know What was going on, So I called to my friends, But they were already gone. How could they leave Without telling me they did? I thought they wouldn't do that, Maybe they just hid; So I looked around for them, They were nowhere in sight. My body felt tense And full of great fright, So I knew from that moment That I was on my own, I knew that my friends Would never come home. I walked through town Seeking comfort for me, The streets were blinding, I could barely see. With no one around And no one to see Another great fear Built up inside me. I was thinking to myself, How could this happen?; The gangsters on the corner Weren't there rappin'. Everything was still now And everyone was gone I hoped this dream I was having Would quickly be done. I never thought It would happen this way, And what it would be like living day to day In a place so terrifying And once really beautiful, Is now really dull And looks real pitiful. It's pretty sad that man Has destroyed earth this way What was wrong with having Bright and sunny days? In a place so grim, In a place so evil, We should make it good For all the innocent people. One day that world May actually come to this, A place man destroyed That he could once call his; So live today to the fullest, Let's all live life as one Or someday we might wake up and find That everyone is gone. |
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| © Copyright 2003 brezee - All Rights Reserved | |||
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lingering thoughts Member
since 2003-05-03
Posts 70Illinois, USA |
oooh i really liked this one of yours * good job!  i like the rhyming and the last stanza ...ill be looking for your next write ! |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
This is great!! Worthy sentiments, beautifully expressed Luv, Liz xxx "Gorge the honey from life, and live through the stomach aches knowing they will pass..." ~Liz Pinard 2003~ |
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BrokenDreams Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425In The Clouds |
This is really good, but also very sad. As I read this I could see someone walking through a deserted town, searching for something to find comfort in, but finding none. Good job. ::Jen:: If you listen hard enough silence can mean more than words. |
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jaysh Member
since 2003-04-16
Posts 133IL, USA |
good write gurl! Keep it up! |
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dertah Senior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 584 |
do you hear what i heat? oh my god, no!!! ahhhhhhh, oh yeah, good write. |
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katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
this is fantastic, it's an aweful thought with a great message. |
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chicken Junior Member
since 2003-07-27
Posts 44 |
gr8 write when i was reading this i thought of 9/11 very beautiful peace with sentimental value! if u get wat i mean! -emma |
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brezee Member
since 2003-06-02
Posts 140 |
Thanx for all your replies i appreciate it, i guess this sorta did pop in my mind about that time but i really think it's true that it really could happen someday, anywho, thanx again, peace ~*~*brezee*~*~ |
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*Belabebeautiful*
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696washington, USA |
At the beginging I was a little confused, apart of the middle I didn't really like and the end hit me with a bang that I'll remember the rest of the night. Powerful message being conveyed through this piece. Like I said there were a few parts that struck me funny but overall the poem was hauntingly beautiful if that makes any sense at all. Nicely done ~Live and Laugh~ The problem with resisting temptation is you never know if you'll get the chance again |
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