Got to get away from love - pipTalk Forums

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blueyedlioness
Member

since 2003-04-24

Posts 289
USA

0 posted 2003-05-22 11:58 AM

Well, I haven't written in a couple of days, and last night I guess all of it hit me. I wrote three poems in like, an hour. Anyway, I didn't want to hit you guys with all of them at once, so I decided to post this one. It's pretty different from what I usually write... and the rhyming's a little weird, but anyway.

What the hell is wrong with me?
My heart aches to love
Yet if I ever think it might
I hide from it, avoid it, fight
Close my eyes so I can't see
Can't take the threat
That someone might care
What happens to me
Or where I am
Tonight
I realized you might be for real
And immediately I withdrew
Automatically, can't stop running
From this awful unknown thing
I can't allow myself to feel
Got to get away from you
Before you leave fingerprints
Before you steal
My heart away
Tonight
I've never wanted to care this much
Bad enough to risk the hurt
Of giving my whole heart away
Until you looked in my eyes that day
And I don't know if I can stand the touch
Of someone who might break my spirit
For never have I let it go this far
In letting my heart get involved in love
And I don't think I can take it
So I have to get away
Tonight

AlostHeart
Member

since 2003-05-01

Posts 78
Wisconsin, U.S.

1 posted 2003-05-22 12:08 PM

ok, but could be improved... ~Tori Louise~

Dont ever love a guy that will never love you back, no matter how hard you try.

ESP
Member Elite

since 2000-01-25

Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....

2 posted 2003-05-22 12:48 PM

I like it, the way you keep saying "tonight" builds the tension. I felt like it was an unstoppable surge of feeling, reaching a point, becoming a waterfall...you want to stop them but all the momentum is forwards.
Empathy from this side, I can assure you

Luv, Liz xx

"Gorge the honey from life, and live through the stomach aches knowing they will pass..." ~Liz Pinard 2003~

skyshine

Member Elite

since 2002-02-07

Posts 3058
Beneath the northern stars

3 posted 2003-05-22 07:37 PM

I kinda liked the rhyme scheme....different, but interesting....anyway, I know how you feel. Just go with the flow and don't stop yorself from loving because you're afraid, but don't do something you're not ready for either. You'll know when you are. Best of luck!

~Elizabeth

Dreams last for so long, even after you're gone...
~Jewel

*Dark Princess*
Junior Member

since 2003-04-13

Posts 22
lost in the shadows

4 posted 2003-05-28 12:20 PM

I know what u mean, but like they say...Its better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all...but ya I know it really hurts sometimes...But it can hurt just as much to want to love and runnin away, so keep your chin up and just take it slow...Jess

laurie
Member

since 2003-05-28

Posts 153
canada, ontario

5 posted 2003-05-29 02:42 PM

damn. l think l might start crying again. (been doing that most of the day) anyway, this is good. l like it, and... l don't know, you didn't make me smile, but not much could. you did make me think thoug - just realizing there are people out there who are afraid of love, for whatever reason, helps.
thanx, this... well, l guess it touched me.
Laurie. btw: it's good.

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

6 posted 2003-05-29 05:33 PM

I liked this. The rhyme scheme was difently different, but not bad. Good job.

If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain.

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