navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #6 » Your game!!!
Teen Poetry #6
Post A Reply Post New Topic Your game!!! Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Albino_Jenn
Member
since 2003-03-03
Posts 105
Ontario, Canada

0 posted 2003-05-06 07:43 PM




I took a chance, I played you game
I was so naive, you’re all the same
Trust filled my heart, so blind to your ways
I knew these feelings could not stay
All you wanted was one night with me
To have your way, then set me free
In your eyes I was so innocent and pure
You thought I’d be ready and willing for sure
I stuck to my morals and wouldn’t give in
I would not comply, and commit such a sin
When all was lost, the game was done
You moved on, and I had won
Now I wonder, was it only me    
Or were there others I could not see
I fear for those that get trapped in your lies
That see you as kind through their virgin eyes        
You’ll roll the dice till reality sets in
They see you coming, and you’ll never win
Your name is heard, but they’ve all been warned
When the game is won, you leave them scorned
I thank the lord everyday that I stuck to my beliefs
‘Cause I could not live, with the constant waking grief.
**It was kind of in the moment just thinking about how glad I am that I didn't....well I am sure you can guess from the poem...so tell me what ya think..I am not sure if I really got the right mood out or not!!**


**It's better to be hated for who you are, than loved for who you are not**

[This message has been edited by Albino_Jenn (05-08-2003 08:10 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Jenn - All Rights Reserved
blackandwhitehorizon
Member
since 2003-05-05
Posts 183
an akward state of mind
1 posted 2003-05-06 07:54 PM


Well written... As far as I can tell I got the mood... Good rhyme scheme... some spelling/grammar errors, but that's just quick typing mistakes and the message of the poem still got across... good job...
FlyingCloud
Member
since 2003-04-28
Posts 151
A little place inside my head
2 posted 2003-05-07 05:48 PM


I agree w/ blackandwhite, there are some grammar errors, but otherwise, this is a great write!

+Genuine poetry can communicate before it is understood.+
T. S. Eliot (1888 - 1965)

WinterWren
Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044
...Coming to
3 posted 2003-05-07 06:56 PM


Very good poem, I liked it alot.
GOOD FOR YOU!!!! You should be very proud that you didn't give him his way!

WinterWren
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Teen Poetry #6 » Your game!!!

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary