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Teen Poetry #6
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vashthestampede
New Member
since 2003-05-03
Posts 9


0 posted 2003-05-03 10:42 PM


My beautiful girl,
my broken-hearted--
my lovely one and true.


You are my life--my destiny,
my heart, into the blue.


Angel in the evening,
darling in the morn,
Daffodil at night--
petals die--I'm torn...


Whatever you are,
you beautiful girl,
all I know, is--
I love you.


With all my might...
your eyes are pearl
so rare to me--
you are the light.


© Copyright 2003 vashthestampede - All Rights Reserved
lingering thoughts
Member
since 2003-05-03
Posts 70
Illinois, USA
1 posted 2003-05-03 11:00 PM


I liked yor poem, the symbolism was good )
WinterWren
Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044
...Coming to
2 posted 2003-05-03 11:15 PM


First off, WELCOME to Pip!!!!
This is a very good first post,
one of the best love poems I have ever read.
I hope you have a long and enjoyable stay!

WinterWren
"Even a fool knows that we cannot touch the stars, but that doesn't keep the wise from trying."

vashthestampede
New Member
since 2003-05-03
Posts 9

3 posted 2003-05-10 08:03 PM


Thank you, lingering thoughts and winterwren

for the nice welcome!

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
4 posted 2003-07-14 09:32 PM



Oh...I'm liking this one...

"Angel in the evening,
darling in the morn,
Daffodil at night--
petals die--I'm torn..."

Beautifully written, vash...
A belated WELCOME to you!  I hope you'll stick
around and share some more of your work.
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

*Belabebeautiful*
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696
washington, USA
5 posted 2003-07-15 01:05 AM


Oh!! I'm not sure whether to gush out everything I'm feeling at this piece or just leave it at I loved it and amazing first post!! I think that one will do seeing that the other could go on for a page! Loving the word choice and constant emotions throughout the poem, well done
~Live and Laugh~

The problem with resisting temptation is you never know if you'll get the chance again
~Bella~

Rise of Truth
Member
since 2003-07-12
Posts 59
Beneath the Fury Sun
6 posted 2003-07-15 06:03 AM


Trigun.

I hope you aren't writing about something that once was.

I am the prophet
Harbinger of what you fear the most
Your enemy of belligerent honesty
Destroyer of your livelihood, built on falsehood

collarbone_girl
Junior Member
since 2003-07-14
Posts 45
Wonderland
7 posted 2003-07-15 08:45 AM


i didn't like this.
the theme was gorgeous... but something about it just didn't floooow right.

This Cool Night Air Is Curious...

frolicking dolphin
Member
since 2003-02-23
Posts 268
my own special world
8 posted 2003-07-15 10:18 AM


That was so sweet and emotional, I absolutely loved it, can't wait to read more from you, welcome to pip

~*~Karen~*~

~Dream like you'll live forever,live like you'll die tomorrow~

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