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Teen Poetry #6
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sing'n fool
Member
since 2003-04-17
Posts 82
Morris, Il

0 posted 2003-04-24 02:28 PM


Happy Birthday Dad


I take a long lonely drive
with nothing more than a rose beside me.
I pull up to the gate, and sit...
for but a moment, and reflect.

Staring through the stone statues
to where you are...I can't see you
but I know you're there.

Underneath a weeping tree is where I find you.
Kneeling down I put my hand upon your head.
I talk to you, but the conversation is one-sided.

You just listen,
and all I can do is hope that you hear me.
I ramble on and on...
I still ask for your advice
and hope that you will guide me.

I must go now,
so I lay my rose upon your head.
I will see you again soon.

I ask that you stay with me
and bid you a happy birthday.

M.P.D.

Be yourself.  Say what you feel.  Nothing is wrong. To your own self be real!!

© Copyright 2003 michael - All Rights Reserved
Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A
1 posted 2003-04-25 02:11 AM


This is an icredibly heart-felt coin to comemorate a life.  I not only love this poem, but appreciate it's strenght....very well done and keep this great work coming.

Jeremy

Be it in the truest form, or a desperate lack thereof, fail not to understand that the inspiration is love.

peachesNcream
Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears
2 posted 2003-04-25 10:43 PM


Wow! I totally agree with Jeremy on this. This was very heart felt, I love it to no end. Great write! ~Jess

"What I am is good enough if I would only be it openly."

wings of the moon
Member
since 2003-03-27
Posts 323
Pink bubblegum land
3 posted 2003-04-26 12:21 PM


That is a beautiful beautiful poem...
The writting alone starts off poignantly this poem, it flows and has a sobriety that is admirable.
Then, one gradually understands the subjects and...wow.
I'm mesmerized. The way you've captured this is heartbreaking, yet kept simple.
Its just beautiful...
well done.

love,
Claire

"more than yesterday, less than tomorrow, i love you"

aaron woodside
Member
since 2001-09-26
Posts 256

4 posted 2003-04-26 05:43 PM


You should have entered this in the contest.  I would have voted for it.  

I must say that this is simply amazing.  Great write.

ex animo,
Aaron Woodside

IN NOMINE PATRI ET FILII ET SPIRITUS SANCTI

WinterWren
Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044
...Coming to
5 posted 2003-04-27 12:30 PM


I must say this is one of the best poems I have read at pip!!
It's a very strong piece, every word is perfect.
It reaches right down to the heart.
You should have put this up for book submission!!!
PERFECT.

WinterWren
"Even a fool knows that we cannot touch the stars, but that doesn't keep the wise from trying."

punkrockerrobin
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180
Sparks, NV
6 posted 2003-04-28 03:33 AM


how sad. but when we lose someone don't forget they are always in our hearts and that's where they will stay. it's a safe place wher they will not escape. good good good poem hun!
robin

i am who i am and that's all that i am and all i shall ever be and if you don't like who i am then leave!

Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A
7 posted 2003-04-28 03:51 AM


sorry...wrong poem...my bad
FlyingCloud
Member
since 2003-04-28
Posts 151
A little place inside my head
8 posted 2003-04-28 06:39 PM


I know all too well the pain of loss. The school I go to lost a lot of people this year, and I felt every bit of it. I love this poem, its strength is going to help people move on.

^~Whoever does not love his work cannot hope that it will please others.~^
Unknown

sing'n fool
Member
since 2003-04-17
Posts 82
Morris, Il
9 posted 2003-04-29 02:17 PM


Thank you everyone!  It's good to see that some people enjoy what I write, and I'm glad that I can share it with all of you! I also love to read your works, and hope that I can grow and learn from them.  You all have such wonderful stuff, and beautiful styles.  I will never grow tired of reading any of it

Sing'n Fool

Be yourself.  Say what you feel.  Nothing is wrong. To your own self be real!!

teenpoet
Member
since 2001-10-17
Posts 280
Michigan
10 posted 2003-04-30 02:35 PM


Well you definitely got some pain in there.  I can understand.  Amazing, considering everyone thinks I'm fairly cold hearted.  But oh well.  My papa(grandfather but heritage has an influence on everyone) died just a few years ago and I still have a hard time accepting it.  I still think that he'll be there and I can just go talk to him.  Yeah that hurts when I get up there to thier house and it's only grandma there.  I think it hurts my ma alot too.  We used to be with him a lot.  Well anyways may god bless you and ease your pain.  Vaya con Dios mi amigo.

~Keep dreaming~  

newguy04
Junior Member
since 2003-04-23
Posts 17
ohio
11 posted 2003-04-30 11:48 PM


this is a sad poem.  it is very good.  how i felt when my grandpa died
BrokenDreams
Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425
In The Clouds
12 posted 2003-05-01 12:18 PM


    I love this poem. It almost makes me want to cry. I can't imagine not having my dad around.
     Keep it up! Tori

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