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heart_of_ice
Junior Member

since 2003-02-18

Posts 14
England

0 posted 2003-04-24 02:12 PM

Do you think I don’t want to be like you?
Laughing about boys and make-up and whatever’s in fashion.
Instead I sit, staring at the wall,
Willing myself to disappear,
Longing for an end to my pain.
Do you think I don’t want to go to parties, wear revealing dresses?
Dance and flirt
Instead of having to hide my scars under layers of clothing
And hoping to die
Do you think I don’t want to join in with your
Shocked, whispered conversations about whom
Almost went all the way with whom?
Instead I am forced to bear the shame of what
He did to me, and of having to put up with the
Advances of a man almost twice my age,
Just to get the fix which will get me through
Another pointless day.
Do you think I don’t want to join in with your experimentation?
Thinking you’re drunk after one can of beer?
Instead I sit at home, night after night, with a bottle of vodka
To blur the sharp edge of my pain and fear.
Do you think I don’t want to plan for my future?
What job I will have, and how many kids?
But I lose my baby at thirteen
And I can’t save my lover from himself.
There is no future for someone like me.
Do you think I don’t know what you say about me?
The A-grade student, teachers pet?
Such irony.
I wonder what you’d say if you knew, my friend.
No doubt turn away like all the others,
Leave me alone with my pain.
Do you think I don’t want to share your dreams of growing up?
Believe me, it’s no fun to end up like this,
A hollow shell, barely human.
Like you I am just a child, but so
Tired of this life.
Do you think at all as you see one more girl
Struggle against the world
And finally give up the fight?
Or do you, like the rest of the world,
Turn a blind eye?

sing'n fool
Member

since 2003-04-17

Posts 82
Morris, Il

1 posted 2003-04-24 02:35 PM

cool first reply>

I think this is a good write. Very well written! You exspress a truth that few will tell, but many feel. Very Powerful. Great job.

Sing'n fool

Be yourself. Say what you feel. Nothing is wrong. To your own self be real!!

SilentTears
Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 371
Lost and Broken

2 posted 2003-04-24 07:27 PM

This poem is beautiful but heartbreaking. I felt it the whole way through. I am so envious of your bravery! How you can take all these feelings that most would be afraid to talk about...and you put them on paper to share with whoever cares to view...it's amazing. Excellent write. Absolutely beautiful!

As I smile at everyone else, I'm dying inside... ~Me

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