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Teen Poetry #6
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Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A

0 posted 2003-04-21 12:58 PM




By the Liquor, By the Demons

Deliver me from this state
to which I've been sedated.
By this liquor, by my feelings-
I'm so intoxicated.
Alone is bad for me
and my state of mind.
I fill myself with the past
I wish I'd left behind.
Or is it really what I need
to project to me the truth
that I am not forgiven
for my failures as a youth.
But that was then, you see;
I've grown into a man.
I live for those around me
and do all that I can.
I sacrifice anything
to make their smiles last.
Now here I am, intoxicated
by demons from the past.

J.D.H.


Be it in the truest form, or a desperate lack thereof, fail not to understand that the inspiration is love.

[This message has been edited by Jeremy Halstead (04-21-2003 01:00 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Jeremy D. Halstead - All Rights Reserved
Peacebri
Junior Member
since 2003-04-16
Posts 44

1 posted 2003-04-21 05:12 PM


I like it, I really do I think you should keep up writing and as you keep writing more and more you will get better. Its a great poem already! cant wait to see more of your writings!!!
PEACE!
Bri

Peacebri
Junior Member
since 2003-04-16
Posts 44

2 posted 2003-04-21 05:14 PM


PS~ i survived '88 in the womb, so its all good! Keep writing, your great at it!
SilentTears
Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 371
Lost and Broken
3 posted 2003-04-21 06:33 PM


I really like this, as I do all of your work. "I fill myself with the past I wish I'd left behind." Really liked that line...but the whole thing is really good! You've got my vote! Can't wait to read more of your work!

As I smile at everyone else, I'm dying inside... ~Me

poetSeaMaiden
Member
since 2003-04-25
Posts 107

4 posted 2003-04-27 07:30 PM


Hello, well I ventured over here to the teen forum, and stumbled onto some really good stuff!  I really like your style - everything rhymes and flows, and it's so easy to read even though your meanings are deep.  I like that. You have a great way of pouring yourself out onto paper. I've been writing for years ( I'm OLD! ) and I do know talent when I see it!  You've got a natural gift - never stop writing!  
punkrockerrobin
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180
Sparks, NV
5 posted 2003-04-28 03:29 AM


it's amazing what that stuff does to ya. i can really relate to this one. i use to drink to get by life and then one day something bad happened and it woke me up. so now i am trying to redeem myself from the past. great job hun loved it.
Robin

i am who i am and that's all that i am and all i shall ever be and if you don't like who i am then leave!

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