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sing'n fool
Member

since 2003-04-17

Posts 82
Morris, Il

0 posted 2003-04-17 03:49 PM

Shell

What do you see when you look at me?

Do you see me,
or who you think I should be?

Appearance doesn't make me who I am
reflections of self
we don't often understand.

I submit to you my outer shell
my soft inside
I protect it well.

I keep from all..the feelings I feel.
Demons eating my soul
emtions no longer revealed.

Locked away deep inside
Emotions conflicting
Thoughts don't coinside.

The battle is raging
and this war I can't win!

So if you think that you know me
you better think again!

M.P.D.

Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A

1 posted 2003-04-18 03:28 PM

great job of opening up and letting the inside get out...the words did the feeling justice...nice work.

J.H.

Curse not upon love, for it is the greatest of great things. Be it not love that curses you....but thy lack thereof. -J.D.H.

PoeTik JusTice
Member

since 2003-01-05

Posts 186
California, USA

2 posted 2003-04-18 06:15 PM

Great poem, it shows feeling and is written really well! I definitely enjoyed this! Keep up the good work.

XoXo Love Alwayz XoXo
*~Serena~*
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love, and be loved in return." --Moulin Rouge

Jaime

Registered

Member
Posts 250

3 posted 2003-04-18 06:26 PM

Very nice. A rare example of good poetry here. It flowed very nicely. (If you're into that sort of thing.)

Jaime

the faeries creep into my hair at night leaving it in terrible knots

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

4 posted 2003-04-18 08:37 PM

I really really love this piece!
I can relate to this one so well!!
I especially love the 3rd and 4th stanzas.
Excellent poem!

WinterWren
"Even a fool knows that we cannot touch the stars, but that doesn't keep the wise from trying."

SilentTears
Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 371
Lost and Broken

5 posted 2003-04-18 09:17 PM

Very good! You did a wonderful job on this poem! Great write!

As I smile at everyone else, I'm dying inside... ~Me

FlyingCloud
Member

since 2003-04-28

Posts 151
A little place inside my head

6 posted 2003-04-28 06:49 PM

Nowadays, it is difficult to look past the surface, to think about what, in someone's past, would make them act a certain way. Today, especially teens, find it difficult to be themselves, and idolize those who are themselves, and not ashamed to be it.

^~Whoever does not love his work cannot hope that it will please others.~^
Unknown

punkrockerrobin