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Teen Poetry #6

A Peek into the Future

Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

0 posted 2003-04-17 12:21 PM

Romance fizzled,
"I love you's" turned protocol.
Do you want to see me tonight?
Is it allowed?
Who else hates me now, huh?
You're the only one I can always count on-
until you get bored.
It's just life,
so I should deal.
Heaven forbid,
I might be upset.
Just acting crazy again,
I see.
Waiting on hands
and knees;
hey, maybe it'll work out!
Lucky me!
Might as well try,
but don't expect much.
Don't hold my breath,
you imply-
as I cock my head
in confusion.
You'll love me forever,
unless I get "weird" again,
or some whim takes you away.
It's just a peek into the
future.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2003-04-17 05:57 PM

I love this. You take snippets and stitch them together and end up making a wry commentary filled with wickedly truthful observation.

Great Job!

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

2 posted 2003-07-22 06:32 PM

Great Writing

Andy

EleanorMoonbaby
Member

since 2002-09-02

Posts 202
England, UK

3 posted 2003-07-22 06:49 PM

Sarcasm may be the lowest form of wit, but it's generally used on the lowest form of people.

I liked this poem, it had an attitude problem (yes, poems can have attitude problems).
Ellie

I'm not dead, OK? I'm just a little electroencephalographically challenged!

dertah
Senior Member

since 2003-06-18

Posts 584

4 posted 2003-07-22 11:44 PM

sometimes.........it just......well then theres..........but you cant.......good write.

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

5 posted 2003-07-26 02:01 AM

*hugs*

I hope everything's okay...

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

6 posted 2003-07-26 11:19 PM

You're the only one I can always count on- until you get bored. I loved the lightness about this, but still the obvious anger. Nicely done. You have a style all your own.
~Lex

Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

7 posted 2003-07-26 11:43 PM

this flowed amazingly...., great job....
ri

*the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time*

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