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Teen Poetry #6
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NSnaomian
Member
since 2002-07-22
Posts 232
In my troll closet I be

0 posted 2003-04-16 07:10 PM



I actually posted this a while ago, but I'd like to get newer feedback on it. I personally think it is a fun poem and that is what I need at the moment, and I'm sure it couldn't hurt to have a smile.


So blind with love it all came true
How could his heart not see?
He loves her very much and now
He lets his soul flow free

A girl grown up in black and gray
Won't pass her way blue skies
She never knew her lover's looks
Or the color of his eyes

A boy grown up, tall and alone
Can't think much by himself
He's always been what others want
His needs put on the shelf

While Swimming at the pool one day
And soaking up the sun
He came across this starlit smile
And knew she'd be the one

He walked up to her one day close
She feared he did not know
His love for her seemed true enough
Would he become her foe?

At once alone, he'll hurt no more
A boy, a girl, at last
Together see the stars above
Their hopes, their dreams and past

So blind with love it all came true
How could his heart not see?
He loves her very much and now
He's let his soul flow free

"All that I desire to point out is the general principle that Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life."
-Oscar Wilde

© Copyright 2003 Laura - All Rights Reserved
WinterWren
Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044
...Coming to
1 posted 2003-04-17 05:48 PM


I really really enjoyed this poem.
I like the way the poem tells a story,
Good story too. My vote for this one, it deserves much more comments than it got!!

WinterWren
"Even a fool knows that we cannot touch the stars, but that doesn't keep the wise from trying."

karebear07
Member
since 2003-04-15
Posts 64
Texas
2 posted 2003-04-17 05:59 PM


That was so aweosme!! True love i can't wait till it comes!! that was so pretty. You have a wonderful way with words. I can feel it when i read your poem. I can feel your happiness. -kara <><
BabieDoll
Member
since 2003-02-13
Posts 268
BFE
3 posted 2003-04-17 07:48 PM


Ooo...very good poem hun. I liked it very much. You did a good job and I liked how your worded the whole piece. You have my vote.

~J.Lynn

"In life you must dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening and love like it's never going to hurt..."

BrokenDreams
Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425
In The Clouds
4 posted 2003-04-17 10:17 PM


aww...so sweet...it has my vote.
Jenni

You are what you make yourself to be.

frolicking dolphin
Member
since 2003-02-23
Posts 268
my own special world
5 posted 2003-04-18 08:13 AM


I'm glad you posted it again, it was an awesome poem, it has my vote

~*~Karen~*~

~Dream like you'll live forever,live like you'll die tomorrow~

StephyBob07
Junior Member
since 2003-04-18
Posts 37
Texas
6 posted 2003-04-18 01:56 PM


i luv this poem. its such a nice story. if only it could come true!
PoeTik JusTice
Member
since 2003-01-05
Posts 186
California, USA
7 posted 2003-04-18 05:54 PM


This poem was so cute! I totally loved it, definitely a great poem!  Nice work.  

XoXo Love Alwayz XoXo
     *~Serena~*
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love, and be loved in return." --Moulin Rouge

Mon Cherie
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2001-10-31
Posts 922
Land of Never-ending Summers
8 posted 2003-05-01 09:41 AM


Ah!!! This is so sweet!!
If it were only so easy to meet a nice guy.

_,,,^.^,,,_
Florence

blueyedlioness
Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 289
USA
9 posted 2003-05-01 12:22 PM


I love that... I tend to look for how perfect the rhyme and rhythm and flow of a poem is, and then for what the thoughts behind it are - and this one covered both aspects beautifully! You definitely have my vote!
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