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Teen Poetry #6

Someplace higher

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

0 posted 2003-04-14 07:35 PM

This fire burns,
dim and slow.
Threatening to give in to the constant cold..
and tempting relief,
The gentle touch of water, beckons..
and promises instant peace.
But I cling to these embers and hope for a fire.
The light in your eyes will shine the way toward..
Someplace higher.

[This message has been edited by Lexy (04-14-2003 07:38 PM).]

Paragon
Member

since 2003-02-16

Posts 114

1 posted 2003-04-14 11:13 PM

Good write

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

2 posted 2003-04-15 02:05 PM

Very visual piece, Overall this poem has a nice feel. I love it!
Excellent Write!

WinterWren
"Even a fool knows that we cannot touch the stars, but that doesn't keep the wise from trying."

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

3 posted 2003-04-15 04:40 PM

quite lovely and the water and fire lended a mystical quality, and there is tone of gentle yearning in the undercurrents here.

Very nice write, I enjoyed this much.

Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A

4 posted 2003-04-16 02:41 AM

As short a poem as this requires the perfect choice of words and just the right use of them. It's impessive that you were able to do that and still let the rythm flow so nicely...very well done.

J.H.

Curse not upon love, for it is the greatest of great things. Be it not love that curses you....but thy lack thereof. -J.D.H.

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