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Teen Poetry #6
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Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733


0 posted 2003-04-11 08:04 PM


I didn't write this to be good, I wrote it because it came to me.

Shedding clothes in the strike of a match
The porcelain cold as I slip my legs inside
The heat beings to creep up slowly
The light of four candles bouncing off of the water,
Highlighting every curve, exaggerating the hourglass that is
My smooth, wet body
Exposing all that is kept hidden, covered, for those eyes only to see
The warmth of the water washing over me
Sinking into me, enveloping me
Yielding to this warmth I lay back
As the smell of jasmine and rose encircle me
Steam swirling upward as I slowly lift one leg
Water forming beads like oil on my soft pale skin
Collecting in the deep hollow of my collarbone
Twisting my dark shining hair around my shoulders
My eyes close as I relax
Surrendering to the embrace of liquid affection
It’s a shame I was alone


© Copyright 2003 Isabel Galaxia - All Rights Reserved
Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A
1 posted 2003-04-16 02:47 PM


This is first thing I've read of your's in forever...and it rocked...when things just
"come to you", they come with a pretty damn good idea of how they want to to be portrayed.  I could see every glance of yellow light flicker off of your body as it lowered into it's watery refuge...

J.H.

Curse not upon love, for it is the greatest of great things. Be it not love that curses you....but thy lack thereof. -J.D.H.


devinechild22
Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571

2 posted 2003-04-17 08:47 PM


That was amazing. You wrote such a discriptive piece. Great job.
         *Allison*

CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA
3 posted 2003-04-18 08:36 PM


The title caught my attention...  -looks around and smiles innocently-  But then I read the poem, and I was really impressed.  Very well done, thanks for posting this!

      - Cody -

Note To Self:  If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?  

SilentTears
Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 371
Lost and Broken
4 posted 2003-04-18 09:22 PM


"Surrendering to the embrace of liquid affection."...This poem was very good! I don't think I've ever read a poem written about taking a bath...but you made it sound absolutely wonderful! I think that you had a good usage of words...You wrote a very good poem with a very difficult subject! Wonderful job!

As I smile at everyone else, I'm dying inside... ~Me

Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733

5 posted 2003-04-20 11:37 PM


Wow, thank you all so much!!

Bel

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