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Teen Poetry #6
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PoeticGoddessOfDepression
Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439
I am everywhere

0 posted 2003-04-10 11:10 PM



Trickling down my spine
-like disease-
And branching off
from the vertebrae...
into every other part in my body until
every last cell is infected.

After this my insides collapse
-on top of eachother-
Forming a barricade
of some kind...
which creates internal flood amd traps
all this disease inside of me.

The only place I can mend is home.
Home Is Not In My Room And On My Bed.
Home Is Not A Door Mat.
Home Is Not A Place Where Family Is.
Home Is In His Eyes
And In His Arms.
And I May Never Get Back

© Copyright 2003 Sara Nicole - All Rights Reserved
aaron woodside
Member
since 2001-09-26
Posts 256

1 posted 2003-04-11 03:25 AM


I enjoy anything that relates to sadness and bittersweet happiness.  I'm funny like that.  Ohh well.  I liked this.  

The beginning was a little too morbid for my usual tastes but the more I thought about it, I realized that feelings of sorrow and doubt really are like a diesease.  It spreads slowly and unstoppable.

The end on the other hand, was perfect.  Home.  I know the feeling.  I hope you find it again.  

Knowing what you know about this person and how you would feel, and how they would walk away, would you rather not know him?

You have my vote, because I enjoy dealing with raw emotions.

ex animo,
Aaron



IN NOMINE PATRI ET FILII ET SPIRITUS SANCTI

[This message has been edited by aaron woodside (04-11-2003 03:36 AM).]

dinky
Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 258

2 posted 2003-04-11 11:00 PM


ha!
you posted another one!! yaaaaaaaaaay!!
i luved this
it's deeeep maaan...
this was awesome
it better make it to the book 2!!

"sometimes i just feel like
quittin i still might
why do i put up this fight?
why do i still write?"

EleanorMoonbaby
Member
since 2002-09-02
Posts 202
England, UK
3 posted 2003-04-12 08:32 AM


Nice one. I liked the way you compared the feeling of emotional homelessness to disease. The ending was unexpected, which made a nice change. You got my vote!
Ellie

I'm not dead, OK? I'm just a little electroencephalographically challenged!

foreverwithyou
Member
since 2002-10-20
Posts 204
Wonderland
4 posted 2003-04-12 09:43 AM


i usually like when u repeat lines so i really liked this one good job man

"I am who I am who I am who am I?"

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
5 posted 2003-04-12 03:47 PM




(big hugggsssssss) Oh Sarah, being away from home is indeed a nauseating feeling, I have had this disease time and time again and only love can be chicken broth! (sigh) This is a very wonderfully descriptive piece, sweet friend, we all loe you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Sarah, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

carol
Senior Member
since 2003-01-25
Posts 624
Florida USA
6 posted 2003-04-13 10:37 PM


Very good you sure got my vote

Real friends celebrate in who we are and have faith in all that we can become
Lots of Love
Rita

SilentTears
Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 371
Lost and Broken
7 posted 2003-04-18 09:13 PM


This was WONDERFUL! You had excellent imagery! This was most definetly a pleasure to read! You have my vote! Excellent write, absolutely love!

As I smile at everyone else, I'm dying inside... ~Me

PoeticGoddessOfDepression
Member
since 2002-07-02
Posts 439
I am everywhere
8 posted 2003-04-21 02:30 PM


Thank you everyone! I'm glad you all liked it!

~Sara

[This message has been edited by PoeticGoddessOfDepression (04-21-2003 02:31 PM).]

devinechild22
Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571

9 posted 2004-01-01 03:43 PM


Sara-
   I just came back here and I searched for all of your poems and I looked at this one and almost beat myself for not replying. I'm such a dildo. We haven't talked in forever. This was an awesome write. I'm off to read some more!
        *Allison*

"Come away with me, Wendy. Come away to Neverland."

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