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Teen Poetry #6
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Poet on Acid
Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325
Florida, USA

0 posted 2003-03-25 03:52 PM



The smell of blood
Hanging in the air
Look at the serpents
Running through her hair

Do you see the darkness
Deep within her eyes
Can you feel the hunger
That’s beneath the lies

Can you hear her heart
Coursing with the blood
Once she has her start
Emotions form a flood

The blood within her veins
Is not her blood at all
It’s the blood of those in chains
And the blood of those who fall

She whispers in your dreams
Feeds while your sleeping
No one hears the screams
Because at night she does her creeping

This is the story of a creature
Whose appearance is beguiling
Her most potent weapon
Shows when she’s smiling

© Copyright 2003 Tony Ryan Johnson - All Rights Reserved
Connel
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2002-11-04
Posts 736
Florida, USA
1 posted 2003-03-25 04:27 PM


Good poem, kinda confuesed though,

Read ^ there, because you are reading the wrong part!

KoKo
Senior Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 995
Inside the shadow's shadow
2 posted 2003-03-25 07:02 PM


Oh man I loved this! Haven't read any of your work before, I'll be looking for more.
This was awesome to read

I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.
--Chang Tzu

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
3 posted 2003-03-25 10:06 PM


Very eerie..I like it.
Mistletoe Angel
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Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
4 posted 2003-03-25 11:09 PM




(big hugggssssssss) Wow, this got me to the edge of my seat, I can't decide if this is more ecstatic or saddening! (sigh) This is marvelous, sweet friend, I enjoy this very much, you have my vote, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Tony, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

5 posted 2003-03-27 12:38 PM


This one burns of lust and hate. I love it.
Tabitha LeAnn
Member
since 2003-03-27
Posts 50
Kansas, USA
6 posted 2003-03-27 02:02 PM


WOW!! This poem was amazing. It really made me think about what it was saying. I will be sure to look for more of your work.

fearing-laughter
Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)
7 posted 2003-03-28 06:34 PM



this poem actually wasn't depressing. here i was all depressed already so i was like 'might as well read some tony poetry' but it was actually pretty neat.  the last lines were my favorite, good job *thumbs up*

b

no one can make you feel inferior, unless you let them.--eleanor roosevelt

BrokenDreams
Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425
In The Clouds
8 posted 2003-03-28 08:54 PM


this is really good. it takes something normally made out to be nothing but "sweet" and made it darker without taking away the feeling. very good. the only thing i would change is the last line of the second stanza. I think it would flow better if it said someting like, "that hides beneath the lies." the extra syllable would improver it i think. hope i helped.
Jenn

don't ever let others tell you who you are

Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
9 posted 2003-03-29 05:53 PM


This was an amazing poem Tony, has my vote. very dark....

Regina

"Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage, Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved"
-Smashing Pumpkins

Riley
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Senior Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038
in the pouring rain
10 posted 2003-03-29 06:25 PM


Wow, I loved this. It was dark and yet, in the last stanza you made it alright. Describing the word love is a hard thing to do, but I think you did it well. Got my vote.


Riley

Windows stained with the fog, words written in by a girl.

Jenn Cirrincione
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
11 posted 2003-03-29 07:18 PM


Very unusual one...
Good work.

Jenn

"Now I'm convinced that he's heaven sent, and must be out of his mind- mama he's crazy, crazy over me."

MissKlarmic
Member
since 2003-02-20
Posts 70
Canada,N.S
12 posted 2003-03-29 07:39 PM


nice write very niec indeed
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