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Teen Poetry #6
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PoeTik JusTice
Member
since 2003-01-05
Posts 186
California, USA

0 posted 2003-03-12 01:36 PM


Your eyes, so soft
Gaze into mine
The world turns
Our hearts still
Locked together
My skin brushes
Against your face
As the wind blows
Away every tide
Keeping us apart
Our love so sudden
intertwined with
Mystery and longing
One step closer
To desired bliss
It's Simply fate
twisting us together
The future holds
Our hearts upon
A dangling string
But we still believe
Fate won't cut one
Our divine will
Weaves into a rope
Holding our love
Upon many strands
The rain will fall
The currents may change
But we will know
That simply fate
will keep us here

XoXo Love Alwayz XoXo
     *~Serena~*
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is to love, and be loved in return." --Moulin Rouge

© Copyright 2003 Serena Marie Corbella - All Rights Reserved
Spine Grinder
Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...
1 posted 2003-03-12 04:09 PM


Wow, I really liked this one. Nice job.

If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain.

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
2 posted 2003-03-12 06:56 PM


I like this one too. I'm glad you submitted it for the vote.
Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
3 posted 2003-03-13 10:38 AM




(sigh) Oh Serena, this is lovely, sweet friend, this made me smile as I know true happiness is bound to always fill your heart, yay, this has my vote, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Serena, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
4 posted 2003-03-13 04:36 PM


WOW!!  Very very nicely done!
~A Hug and a Vote~


~ Trace my body with your words..
And in doing so, you touch my heart. ~


[This message has been edited by Enchantress (03-13-2003 04:36 PM).]

Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
5 posted 2003-03-13 08:24 PM


A very good choice of a poem for the book, good luck to you.

           
R.E.S.P.E.C.T.
Aretha Franklin  

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
6 posted 2003-03-14 01:38 AM



Serena~
I REALLY like this one.
Good choice for a book submission.
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Alicethruglass
Member
since 2001-06-19
Posts 368

7 posted 2003-03-17 06:41 PM


Our divine will
Weaves into a rope
Holding our love
Upon many strands
The rain will fall
The currents may change
But we will know
That simply fate
will keep us here


lovely words

~A~

PoeTik JusTice
Member
since 2003-01-05
Posts 186
California, USA
8 posted 2003-03-18 12:36 PM


Thanx everyone for your nice comments.     Makes me think this poem was a bit better than I thought myself!

XoXo Love Alwayz XoXo
     *~Serena~*
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is to love, and be loved in return." --Moulin Rouge

CSwtThng
Member
since 1999-07-28
Posts 124

9 posted 2003-03-19 02:12 PM


Nice poem! I really enjoyed it.
Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow
10 posted 2003-03-21 11:22 AM


I enjoyed this poem very much.

Sometimes we have to follow a stronger voice, even if it's silent.



carol
Senior Member
since 2003-01-25
Posts 624
Florida USA
11 posted 2003-04-15 09:42 PM


really good it will get my vote also

Real friends celebrate in who we are and have faith in all that we can become
Lots of Love
Rita

karebear07
Member
since 2003-04-15
Posts 64
Texas
12 posted 2003-04-15 09:50 PM


that was very heart spoken.
                   -Kara

SilentTears
Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 371
Lost and Broken
13 posted 2003-04-15 09:52 PM


Wondeful job, I really enjoyed reading this. You have my vote!

As I smile at everyone else, I'm dying inside... ~Me

*Belabebeautiful*
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696
washington, USA
14 posted 2003-04-16 01:02 AM


ahh-sigh-..made me think wistful/wishful happy thoughts! Beautifully written and wonderfully expressed. I loved the idea/expression of Simply fate...cause that's really all it is sometimes. I loved it!
~Live and Laugh~

Always strive for excellence never perfection.
~Bella~

aaron woodside
Member
since 2001-09-26
Posts 256

15 posted 2003-04-16 03:12 AM


I liked it.  It gets my vote.

ex animo,
Aaron Woodside

IN NOMINE PATRI ET FILII ET SPIRITUS SANCTI

Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A
16 posted 2003-04-16 03:49 AM


I really like your vision...that's something I tend to struggle wit hin my writing these days.  You seem to be able to "see" what you're feeling and that can making writing alot easier...very nice job.

J.H.

Curse not upon love, for it is the greatest of great things. Be it not love that curses you....but thy lack thereof. -J.D.H.


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