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Teen Poetry #6

Unemotional Goodbyes

Kandi
Member

since 2000-06-14

Posts 354
North of Hell

0 posted 2003-07-08 11:01 AM

You could almost compensate with your hand
for what your heart isn't ready to feel.
But I need something deeper than this.
Understand I need something real.

I could almost cover for your frozen heart
and drag this heat out until it dies.
But you're looking for indifference,
and I refuse to feed your lies.

We could almost exist back-to-back
in these hollow walls we've built.
But you can't give up this role you play
and I won't spare you the guilt.

dertah
Senior Member

since 2003-06-18

Posts 584

1 posted 2003-07-08 12:07 PM

nice work. it all seems to explain so much now. wow, thanx.

Lil_Mama
New Member

since 2003-07-08

Posts 1
USA

2 posted 2003-07-08 02:28 PM

This poem is so unique! I loved it! It kinda reminded me of something i went through with a boy who didnt know wut he wanted. Good job with expressing yourself and your feelings.

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

3 posted 2003-07-08 10:18 PM

Nice, I liked this, especially the end. Great title.
Lex..

Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

4 posted 2003-07-09 11:48 AM

i think the title was all to perfect for this. i loved the poem, just loved it. the second stanza was my favorite. great job on this....

riley

*the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time*

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

5 posted 2003-07-09 07:02 PM

Amazing poem!
I couldn't pick a favorite line. The whole this is just right.
Well done!

WinterWren
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

Song_for_Serenity
Member

since 2003-05-28

Posts 97
USA

6 posted 2003-07-09 07:17 PM

Smooth flow, great poem. I really liked it. Have a spiffy day!

~Angela
"Anything less than mad, passionate love is wasting your time...Life has too many mediocre things in it, love shouldn't be one of them..."

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