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Teen Poetry #6
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Trouble Breathing
Member
since 2002-11-12
Posts 63


0 posted 2003-03-03 06:29 PM



I was once told,
You’re confusing love with lust,
Soon you’ll be left behind in the dust,
I’ve showed them all now

They always told me,
Life is not a game,
But if this is no game,
You better stop complaining when you lose

When you think you’ve lost it all,
It comes right back again,
The strength to go another day,
Is all you need to get through today

Someday you’ll have all you wished for
Is what I wish I could say
Well you better work for it,
But mistakes happen everyday

© Copyright 2003 Trouble Breathing - All Rights Reserved
frolicking dolphin
Member
since 2003-02-23
Posts 268
my own special world
1 posted 2003-03-03 06:34 PM


Very well written, it made me think, and it is very true, nice poem

~*~Karen~*~

~Dream like you'll live forever,live like you'll die tomorrow~

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
2 posted 2003-03-03 08:12 PM




(sigh) I love all the contradictions and beg to differs placed in this, dearest friend, there is always two ways to think in every situation, this is well-said, you have my vote, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

BrokenDreams
Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425
In The Clouds
3 posted 2003-03-03 09:51 PM


this is cool, i really like the beginning

think about this: everyone you know will someday die.

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
4 posted 2003-03-20 02:23 PM


The strength to go another day,
Is all you need to get through today

One day at a time. *S* I like this a lot... well written!

Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
5 posted 2003-03-20 04:35 PM


If you were looking for a rhyming scheme, i don't think you quiet got it. some lines rhymed and others seemes to be jsut shoved in. It seemed to be lacking something. the ideas were great and the images just the nitty-gritty details struck me as weak.

Regina

"Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage, Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved"
-Smashing Pumpkins

WhiteRose
Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon
6 posted 2003-03-20 07:24 PM


They always told me,
Life is not a game,
But if this is no game,
You better stop complaining when you lose

Indeed, I agree. I enjoyed the read of this. It gets my vote.


Albino_Jenn
Member
since 2003-03-03
Posts 105
Ontario, Canada
7 posted 2003-03-21 04:49 PM


good job..thanks for the read!!!!
Jenn

**Hope is what Shields us from the harsh realities of life**

scarlet fire
New Member
since 2003-03-07
Posts 2

8 posted 2003-03-22 12:18 PM


I really liked your poem. I think it was very well writen and it makes a lot of sense.
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