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Teen Poetry #6
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Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan

0 posted 2003-07-08 01:32 AM




Completely told one thing as I walked on shells of stardom,
Shells I gangly walked across,
Systematically picking every other one.

Breaching my promises for one last hoorah,
I inherited a calming feel of intrusion,
Something I couldn’t subdue.

Kites fly as high as her angelic upbringing,
But I know better then to chase,
Instead layering in webs of youthful aspirations.

Regretting stepping on soft willows,
Cleans me without a pinch of sympathy,
As I rely on my shell to console me.

Her relevance to me is fiery,
Calculating to my desire,
I gallop like ice on her martini.

Reading her is no book,
Seeing little of nothing,
Begins shorting myself for yet another missed hook.

Reaching envious turns,
I begin to take grasp of immature lines,
And I confront her with ever beading eyes.

Trolley me upon her wagon,
I’m so close to her vulnerable wound,
Slowly unfolding my eyes to see her lonely bloom.

© Copyright 2003 Tomer Fried - All Rights Reserved
Lexy
Senior Member
since 2003-01-28
Posts 1038
California
1 posted 2003-07-08 10:25 PM


Sixth stanza! or maybe the seventh..but definately the whole thing. lol . I loved that, I don't understand why no one has responded. You have an amazing talent with words, it was vague, yet vivid, if that makes any sence at all. I tend not to..Anyhow I greatly enjoyed this piece. I gallop; like ice on her martini..loved that. I found this quite light and funny at parts.
Bravo
~Lex..  

[This message has been edited by Lexy (07-08-2003 10:27 PM).]

Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan
2 posted 2003-07-09 12:00 PM


Lex-
Thanx so much for the response, happy you enjoyed it
Tomer

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