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Teen Poetry #6
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gummidemilo
New Member
since 2003-02-25
Posts 9


0 posted 2003-02-25 12:53 PM


You came to me in darkness
And taught me how to see
Somehow this gift of summer light
Undermined my will to breathe

Entangled by these murmurs
Of love trust hope and truth
I slipped between the cracks of dawn
And gave to you my youth

The flower that you grew for me
In the glow of warm moonlight
Has wilted in the frozen breeze:
My ardor and its blight

Yet all that I have learned to see
Through aged and polished eyes
Bedims the hope that I have lost
To February skies



© Copyright 2003 gummidemilo - All Rights Reserved
*Belabebeautiful*
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696
washington, USA
1 posted 2003-02-25 01:00 AM


For a first post this is exquised!! It flowed beautifully, it showed well thought ideas and great emotions, I especally loved the last stanza it wraps the piece up well!
~Live and Laugh~

People always ask me why I don't look toward my future I tell them to many interesting things are happening today.
~Bella~

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
2 posted 2003-02-25 02:38 AM


First of all,
    

Secondly, this was a fantastic first posting and also very worthy of a book submission.

I was going to tell you to check your email for a greeting from all your new friends here at Passions, but I see you have not recorded one for sending.

              
~* Carpe' Diem *~  


[This message has been edited by Mysteria (02-25-2003 02:40 AM).]

heart_of_ice
Junior Member
since 2003-02-18
Posts 14
England
3 posted 2003-02-25 09:47 AM


wow......beautiful. what more can i say?
Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
4 posted 2003-02-25 12:17 PM


I thought the poem was very well written.
I enjoyed it a lot.

Look at the sun and burn your eyes. You'll be fine in the end.

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
5 posted 2003-02-25 12:47 PM




(big hugggsssssss) This is such a wonderful yet sad debut, sweet friend, my heart goes out to you with angel hugs, this is so wonderfully written, I LOVE IT, and also deserves to be in Reflections! You have my vote, I hope to see more lovely poetry from you, yay, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

gummidemilo
New Member
since 2003-02-25
Posts 9

6 posted 2003-02-25 01:09 PM


well thanks everybody.  this poem was intended to finally give me closure with ... well you can kind of figure it out.  my e-mail is gummidemilo_53@yahoo.com, if anybody wants it.
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
7 posted 2003-02-25 07:42 PM


I really enjoyed your poem and look forward to reading more from you.
Chloey
Member
since 2002-09-29
Posts 74
in a silver mustang convertible
8 posted 2003-02-25 08:08 PM


Really Nice job! Doesn't seem like a first poem but it is really good! It tells us a short story kinda! Great Job!

If you don't like the way I am.....screw you!

WinterWren
Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044
...Coming to
9 posted 2003-02-25 11:39 PM


Welcome to passions!!
Excellent first post! I just love this piece, I hope to be reading more from you.
You have my vote,
Well done!

WinterWren
"Even a fool knows that we cannot touch the stars, but that doesn't keep the wise from trying."

WinterWren
Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044
...Coming to
10 posted 2003-02-25 11:39 PM


Oops, forgot to check vote box.

WinterWren
"Even a fool knows that we cannot touch the stars, but that doesn't keep the wise from trying."

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

11 posted 2003-02-26 02:58 PM


Love the poem, and the Simpsons candy name.
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
12 posted 2003-03-14 03:09 PM


Bedims the hope that I have lost...I really like the phrasing *s

very nice
M

Albino_Jenn
Member
since 2003-03-03
Posts 105
Ontario, Canada
13 posted 2003-03-16 01:17 PM


This was an awesome poem..I really liked it!!!! Keep writing!
Jenn

**Hope is what Shields us from the harsh realities of life**

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
14 posted 2003-03-16 08:39 PM


A most beautiful first post!
Welcome to Passions!
~Hugs~

~ Trace my body with your words..
And in doing so, you touch my heart. ~

Faceless Pawn
New Member
since 2003-03-16
Posts 8
around...
15 posted 2003-03-17 06:35 AM


Yes, yes. I takes a lot to move me. and you've pretty much done that. Very nice job. I love the word usage, too.
PoeTik JusTice
Member
since 2003-01-05
Posts 186
California, USA
16 posted 2003-03-18 12:39 PM


Amazing first post! can't believe I haven't read it until now! Welcome!

XoXo Love Alwayz XoXo
     *~Serena~*
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is to love, and be loved in return." --Moulin Rouge

CSwtThng
Member
since 1999-07-28
Posts 124

17 posted 2003-03-19 12:49 PM


This poem is absolutely wonderful. I can't wait to read more.
WinterWren
Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044
...Coming to
18 posted 2003-03-19 02:13 PM


I've discovered that this isn't in my library, and it needs to be.
Sorry to clutter up the page with so many replies.

WinterWren
"Even a fool knows that we cannot touch the stars, but that doesn't keep the wise from trying."

WhiteRose
Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon
19 posted 2003-03-19 05:14 PM


This is excellent. It gets my vote.
chasing rain
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada
20 posted 2003-03-19 09:28 PM


gummidemilo-

Impressive first post. Loved the flow, adored some of the word usage! Not much to say about this, other than I hope to read more by you soon. Don't force me to wait. I'm impatient. Don't force me to look. I'm lazy.

Leah

[This message has been edited by chasing rain (03-19-2003 09:28 PM).]

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
21 posted 2003-03-20 11:49 AM


I like this very much... welcome! *S*
Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
22 posted 2003-03-20 12:54 PM


Welcome!
The poem was very well written and i did enjoy it a great deal, best of luck with this submission.

Regina

"heaven truley knows that thou art false as hell...one that loved not wisely,but too well..she swore..'twas a strange ,'twas passing strange"-othello

dinky
Member
since 2002-10-19
Posts 258

23 posted 2003-03-23 09:05 PM


this was awesome!!
great first post
cant wait to read more.
~samantha~

"sometimes i just feel like
quittin i still might
why do i put up this fight?
why do i still write?"

Echo
Junior Member
since 2003-02-20
Posts 14
the abyss
24 posted 2003-03-23 09:44 PM


beautiful and tragic.  i absolutely love the word usage, thou im gonna have to look half of them up.  it gets my vote.   gj.

eyes see, ears hear, mind believes

Jenn Cirrincione
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
25 posted 2003-03-25 05:25 PM


Well written. Vote received.

PS I love the Simpsons too, like the name.

Jenn

"Now I'm convinced that he's heaven sent, and must be out of his mind- mama he's crazy, crazy over me."

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