»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #6
»
Easy Lies
| Teen Poetry #6 |
|
Easy Lies |
|
|
Triskaidekaphobia Member
since 2003-02-05
Posts 251In a state of disrepair... |
Are you so far gone That you will believe The lies I tell? “Your beautiful.” At least until tomorrow. Are you so stupid You will not question When I deceive? “Your beautiful.” As long as you believe it. Are you so easy To fool? When I say; “Your forever.” At least until tomorrow. It doesn’t matter If for one moment You trust. “Your forever.” As long as you believe it. It is all right, I know you deem it true. There should be a psychology of feet. For do we not make decisions with our legs and walk about on our brains? What do you mean "No, not really"? [This message has been edited by Triskaidekaphobia (02-26-2003 07:48 AM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2003 LTEvans - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
EleanorMoonbaby Member
since 2002-09-02
Posts 202England, UK |
Well done for at least providing an insight into the mind of the male slut. At least you're honest, I suppose, if a bit brutal. There's not a lot wrong with the poem, but it's "You're beautiful/forever/etc,", not "Your". Sorry, just being pedantic here. Anyways, nice write. Ellie  I'm not dead, OK? I'm just a little electroencephalographically challenged! |
||
|
AngelShell Member
since 2000-03-01
Posts 446not heaven nor hell so... |
This is a very interesting and different read. There aren't many times you will find a poem that tells the brutal truth while retaining an odd melancholy and wistfullness. I really liked this, especially the repetition of the "At least untill tomorrow/As long as you believe it" that part was really nice, it created a wonderful link to the passages. Well done! ~I haven't memorized all of the cute things to say but I'm working on it~ |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
