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Teen Poetry #6
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Surreal
Junior Member
since 2002-10-21
Posts 35
Paris

0 posted 2003-02-23 02:37 PM


She’s all shades of yellow today, in hopes of fading
Out the Mediocrity of simple hands on questioning thighs
“You’re all I need tonight….”
Passion was something that was always a part of the movies
A sort of idiosyncrasy that crashed into reality when
The truth started to hurt
(The screen is but a mirage of temptation, my dear)
And that, that was what became the fear
She was a beauty in limited color schemes,
A fire that couldn’t be put out
One which he allowed to burn a hole
Right over the sweater that covered his heart
“Lady, you’re all I’m looking at with these glazed eyes”
Shampoo that smells like apples, and a heart the shape
Of a peach, this was always the trend on Saturday nights:
“If I could only break your heart, I would break it twice”.


© Copyright 2003 Jean - All Rights Reserved
Elvenblood
Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409
Maine, USA
1 posted 2003-03-09 01:31 PM


How can you guys have let this one slip through the cracks without a single reply?  This is beautiful work, beautiful

A sort of idiosyncrasy that crashed into reality when
The truth started to hurt

This poem belongs in a textbook in the best possible way!  Beautiful use of metaphor, simple images leaving stunning imprints ("a heart the shape / Of a peach")  

Although Surreal, these guys (mods mostly) tend to be self appointed Laureats and such, others followers who won't praise something unless others do.  So for them I say this is a lovely work and I very much enjoy reading it.  For the former...j'ai oublier (sp?)

Elvenblood

chasing rain
Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737
Canada
2 posted 2003-03-09 04:56 PM


Surreal-

Ooh! I read this one a while back. Finally, an artistically written piece with subtle meaning. Loved, especially, the last line.

I don't have much to say on this, other than "I thoroughly enjoyed it." It's poems like these that inspire the mind and chokes the heart (or at least the left ventrical...)

Leah
PoeTik JusTice
Member
since 2003-01-05
Posts 186
California, USA
3 posted 2003-03-10 01:46 PM


I can't believe I never read this! So much talent! I love it! It's very beautiful! AWESOME!!

XoXo Love Alwayz XoXo
     *~Serena~*
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is to love, and be loved in return." --Moulin Rouge

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