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Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

0 posted 2003-07-07 07:15 PM

fingers wrap around each other
hand intwine themselves between the courses
all of the heart that has been put forth
i am so vunerable and you dont seem to realize
rain pours down around us, but we are protected
and i don't want to be

stepping out into the soggy grounds
rain seems to patter down harder, urging me
i turn to you and we are brought closer together

and its nothing but a lie, until you find my soul
forever with the droplets of rain

*the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time*

Savage Quiescence
Member

since 2002-07-29

Posts 326
Wandering

1 posted 2003-07-07 09:08 PM

Wow, this painted a strong picture in my head the whole way through, which sometimes is not easy to do. Powerful ending. I certainly like it! Thanks for the read.
~Sky

"Whatever life brings, I've been through everything, but now I'm on my knees again" -Creed

dertah
Senior Member

since 2003-06-18

Posts 584

2 posted 2003-07-08 12:14 PM

excellent work mate, cherreo.

BrokenDreams
Member

since 2003-02-09

Posts 425
In The Clouds

3 posted 2003-07-08 12:47 PM

I totally felt the whole thing. It was very powerful. Thanks for the read.

-Jen

I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not. -Kurt Cobain

SimpleDiscourse
Member

since 2003-04-24

Posts 79

4 posted 2003-07-08 02:26 PM

I loved this poem. Lots of feeling. Keep it up.

Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

5 posted 2003-07-08 04:57 PM

thank you all for your comments. this is one of my not so good ones, but i am glad that you enjoyed it. i needed a release and quick so i wrote......thanks again for your kind words...

riley

*the bloody tide comes in on the shore, time after time*

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

6 posted 2003-08-01 08:55 PM

The last line of the first stanza held great meaning. I loved this. And its nothing but a lie. So true.
~Lex

Match
Member

since 2002-07-01

Posts 286
Canada Edmonton

7 posted 2003-08-02 11:33 PM

This poem made me think of walks in the rain, the images were vivid and clear. I liked this poem.

I wear my crown of thorns
on my liar's chair
full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
-Johnny Cash ( Music & Lyrics:
Trent Reznor)

Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

8 posted 2003-08-03 10:46 AM

i am a rain freak to say the least..i love the rain...thanks for replying

riley

* the pouring rain kisses my lips with innocence as you look into my eyes *

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