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Teen Poetry #6

bloody back stabber

wvplayernotreally
Member

since 2002-11-06

Posts 215
yakima wa

0 posted 2003-02-18 07:05 PM

You have the words in your hands
waiting for the best time to nail them to my back
do you like the pain?
the violent words, the secerts all meshed to one
i always trusted you
you knew what was best
thats why i told you those things
then, you go and stab, stab away at the flesh
you like to see me bleed
you like to hear my cries
why, oh why did i consider you a friend
you couldn't come and tell me to my face?
but no, i know you couldn't
know how i know? my back is searing with pain
from you, damn the highschool drama
that all seems to spur from your mouth
i wait and dream to back in the day
when only recess was my concern
block out the words and stares
get a bandaid on my back
and move on
why?
because one reason, i am better then you

" I think I got a tan from the light in which i was basking."

[This message has been edited by wvplayernotreally (02-19-2003 06:24 PM).]

NSnaomian
Member

since 2002-07-22

Posts 232
In my troll closet I be

1 posted 2003-02-18 11:34 PM

I like this a lot, mostly because, to me, it spells out growth. I also like your style in some sense but I think it could be better organized in a way.
Good though...
Laura

"All that I desire to point out is the general principle that Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life."
-Oscar Wilde

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

2 posted 2003-02-25 01:40 AM

The poem was completely and utterly filled with raw passion. Very well written. Good job!
I do hope to read more from you in the future!

Look at the sun and burn your eyes. You'll be fine in the end.

frolicking dolphin
Member

since 2003-02-23

Posts 268
my own special world

3 posted 2003-02-25 03:04 PM

Just recently happened to me, you have more strength than I do because I'm not sure if I will ever get over losing my "friend" who I told my secrets to. Nice work.

Karen

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