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Teen Poetry #6
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Paragon
Member
since 2003-02-16
Posts 114


0 posted 2003-02-16 09:44 PM


You proclaim to be unique
unashamed and without meekness
not scared to show your "weakness"

but...

You smoke and drink
dont stop to think
before you act
just react

You stand for nothing
and fall for everything
you shatter under pressure
unable to forego the conventional measure
set up by a calloused society
enforced with piercing stares and chilly glares
you pretend you dont care
but when everyone is around;
their opinion you share

How then, are you unique?
whereing lies the mystique of the unknown....
Unique?
Perhaps you are, but it is forever
a part of you which remains unshown
who you truly are will never be known

By your deeds and by your actions you are...
Unique, Like everyone else.
========================================================================================================
Once again, I ask for complete candor from you.. offer suggestions, advice, or comments. I will take them all with an open mind. Im new to writing poetry but I've found its a release for me, so Im kindof addicted.


© Copyright 2003 Paragon - All Rights Reserved
Quiet Acquiescence
Member
since 2003-02-16
Posts 70
somewhere out here
1 posted 2003-02-16 09:48 PM


hey i'm new to poetry too, but keep on releasing. it sounds great.
Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
2 posted 2003-02-19 01:07 PM




(big hugggsssssss) Oh Paragon, I know just how you feel, dearest friend, I think many take for granted their destinies and how they have special characteristics and dreams and they wish to conform so they can feel accepted, yet in the long run re-discover it is your heart that matters more! (sad sigh) I think you lean on this truth ever so well, dearest friend, so follow your heart and relate to others but through your confidence, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Paragon, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
3 posted 2003-02-19 10:20 PM


I do like this, very much
Chanson
Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559
Up Creek w/Out Paddle
4 posted 2003-02-21 09:48 AM


"...You stand for nothing
and fall for everything..."

Unique lines these.
Nicely done.

When you think you have heard it all,
listen more closely.
~Dorene

AJMGW
Member
since 2002-11-19
Posts 57
Galaxy Roller Rink
5 posted 2003-02-21 12:13 PM


I see what you're say'n. and it's though to find out who someone is. Being you and having your opinions make you unique. Yeah? Something like that. Well keep writing. You're good others will help to make you the best!
^*~AJMGW~*^

BrokenDreams
Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425
In The Clouds
6 posted 2003-02-21 08:30 PM


intersting concept...i like it. it made me think about who i am and the image i present to everyone. *deep in thought* anyway i like it.

Jenn

think about this: everyone you know will someday die.

frolicking dolphin
Member
since 2003-02-23
Posts 268
my own special world
7 posted 2003-02-24 04:06 PM


I love the words you used to express your thoughts, and I like how true your poem is.

Karen

[This message has been edited by frolicking dolphin (02-24-2003 04:09 PM).]

Susie
Junior Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 36
Illinois
8 posted 2003-02-24 04:14 PM


I really liked that one!keep postin~i look forward to readin more of what u have to write!
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
9 posted 2003-02-24 08:02 PM


Except for a couple minor errors, I think this is good!! You've got my vote.
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
10 posted 2003-02-25 02:47 AM


Gee, looks like this Sharon is following that Sharon LOL, and I agree with what she said too, except for some revisons needed, you did a great poem and you have a vote from me too.

          
~* Carpe' Diem *~  

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
11 posted 2003-02-25 12:09 PM


Only 6 posts and yet....very well established already.
Well done on this poem. I liked it a lot. Was smoking and drinking what propelled you to write this poem to begin with? Sounds like you're mad at somebody for joining the crowd.
Very nice poem. I enjoyed it.

-j-

Look at the sun and burn your eyes. You'll be fine in the end.

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