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Teen Poetry #6
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| Teen Poetry #6 |
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Writer |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
She's not any better.. She's not any better.. She shakes every night, because her nerves are shot. So she sits and writes, about every little thing she's not. Why does it even matter?... Why does it even matter?... She sits and wonders, why love always leaves her. The storm outside thunders, and the fire in her heart began to stir. And the grip became tight.. And the grip became tight.. She feels the walls glaring, showing everything she's lost. She feels the people staring, showing everytime she was crossed. All the wrongs she can't make right.. All the wrongs she can't make right.. She remembers all the lies, she feels so betrayed. They never saw the pain in her eyes, she remembers the mistakes she made. She's seen deceit and faced defeat.. She's seen deceit and faced defeat.. If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain. |
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| © Copyright 2003 Staci Weidner - All Rights Reserved | |||
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BabieDoll Member
since 2003-02-13
Posts 268BFE |
Staci, I really liked this one. The formation...the uncertain rhyme...it really struck my attention. And I feel it too. I relate. Good job hunnie!  ~J.Lynn  "In life you must dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening and love like it's never going to hurt..." |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
i enjoyed the poem a great deal, the repeating caught hold of my short attention span.it reminded me of a song. touching write keep writng regina "heaven truley knows that thou art false as hell...one that loved not wisely,but too well..she swore..'twas a strange ,'twas passing strange"-othello |
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BrokenDreams Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425In The Clouds |
I really felt this. it reminded me of myself. Jenn think about this: everyone you know will someday die. |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
thanks..i'm glad u all liked this. i'm actually proud of this one..thats a change lol If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Spine Grinder~ And you SHOULD be proud of this one.  This is VERY well written and I, too, found the repetition to be very effective in this piece. The whole poem held my attention all the way through and had a feel of intensity that couldn't be denied. Well done! ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truly met the poet. ~vlraynes [This message has been edited by vlraynes (02-20-2003 08:18 PM).] |
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HopelessRomanticGuy Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495LI, New York |
Wow.. I liked this! Reminds me very much of a close friend of mine. Very good poem. Loved the repitition! Too strong to give up, to weak to move on.... |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Ya know Stac.....darn I am proud of you girl. I think this one is great, and ya know.......it really hits home with me don't you? Very well done and lyrical. You know I'm sitting here smiling don'tcha???  I must have had my momma's will |
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StellarChica Member
since 2002-07-06
Posts 207floating down a river... |
Great poem. I loved it. Good work.  All You Can Ever Learn Is What You Already Know |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
thank you. i'm glad you enjoyed this, aunt donna, ur thoughts really mean alot to me considering you were the one that introduced me to this forum and writing poetry, thank you so much. If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain. |
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